OK, we are starting with Chicago and Robin Thicke. Well this should be kinda something. The singer for Chicago kinda seems like a Will Ferrell sketch from SNL. They start with 2 lines of "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?", I would prefer Saturday In the Park or 25 or 6 to 4. Ah! Here's my song :) But how will this mix with Blurred Lines? I mean, this song features a man selling ice cream! Nothing like Robin's skanky song. Oh good, he's going down the aisle to sing because that's NEVER awkward. Well, at least Mrs. Robin Thicke didn't have to worry about Chicago grinding up on her husband with a foam finger and no talent. Chicago still has it after all these years.
Now, Keith Urban and Gary Clark, Jr are performing together. I think Keith Urban has the same hair as Robin Wright did at the Golden Globes. How pretty? First time I've heard Clark. Very rocky/bluesy, nice. Good use of the Fred from Scooby-Doo neckerchief too! Good solid performance from them. Keith can still tear up that guitar. So can Clark.
According to Mental Floss magazine, the Grammy Award was almost called the "Eddie" after Thomas Edison. How perfect would that have been for me and this blog? Oy to the ever loving VEY! Halle Berry has a summer show on CBS? How's that post-Oscar movie career working out Halle. Find a good script. Hopefully this one is.
Now John Legend at a piano and singing. Ladies & Gents, this, along with Bey and Shawn is your R&B portion of the Grammys. No R&B awards on the main telecast. Why, I don't know.. Not so subtle shot of John's model wife over his shoulder. Oh to be pretty and famous. Now, R&B legend Charlie Wilson and Kevin Hart present best rock song, which goes to Foo Fighters and Paul McCartney for Cut Me Some Slack. Paul is a legend and a Grammy favorite, no shock there, even if Paul is working the 1980s dad mullet.
Now, Taylor Swift is going to perform. She's finally gotten to wear she sounds good live. Oh, another person at the piano singing quietly. That makes 3 tonight! They wanted to be original, just like everybody else. It just looks odd to be playing piano in a big long flowing gown. Just doesn't seem practical does it? Now she's head banging and I literally laughed OUT LOUD here at home alone. That just looked so awful, and of course her hair still looks perfect. You know she practiced that move to make sure it looked good. Haha. Bless her dang heart. Her voice does sound miles better than it did when she sang live at the beginning of her career.
OK, that'll do for this part 2. Onward and upward!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
It's the Grammy Awards y'all - Part 1!
Good evening everyone. I'm taking a break from movie awards to blog about the Grammys. I am expecting lots of Miley and Justin jokes, because, well, they are easy targets. It's like calling me bald. Really? No kidding, I'm bald, I had no idea! I am ready for these awards. I've been laid up with a bum knee yesterday. My knee darn near gave out on me in the parking lot of the Golden Corral in Oxford, AL while meeting my parents to pick up a few things. Just another day in redneck paradise for me :)
Now, to open the show, it's Mrs. Carter, aka Beyonce. She's in a chair, well, she's straddling a chair with a strobe light & fog machine, and she looks wet. If she had to take a shower after she got there, they shouldn't have put her first, or give her a better towel. Bless it. She's singing Drunk In Love. Maybe that'll be Bieber's defense for his charges. It's starting to look like the Paula Abdul Cold Hearted video with the outfit and chair. Oh looks, she's on a turntable. And there's Jay-Z to do his rap part. The couple that Grammys together stays together. Wait, maybe not, just look at Captain & Tennille. Sad, bless em. Blue Ivy should be happy to know her dad dances like every other dorky dad, or like Bill Cosby from the opening of The Cosby Show. Finally, the requisite shot of Taylor Swift dancing and singing along with whomever is performing.
Now, your host, Mr. Kangol Hat himself, LL Cool J. I still think LL stands for lip licking not Ladies Love. Those helmets on Daft Punk will never stop cracking me up. Super seriously sounding LL is a bit much though. It is funny how he went from Mama Said Knock You Out to "My mama loves watching you on NCIS: LA". They start out with Best New Artist, which goes to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. That's quite a houndstooth tux and velvet tux. Maybe they should have stopped by a thrift shop (see what I did there?). I guess Ryan Lewis doesn't talk? Is he like Teller from Penn & Teller.
Now Lorde is performing Royals. I'm sick of this song. Also, she kinda creeps me out when she performs. It's like she's the girl from The Ring when she sings. And is she supposed to be 16 or 17? Why does she look my age instead? Royals was kinda fun at first, now I'm over it. I'm sure it makes me unhip to be over it, but my musical tastes have never been described as hip. I'm still waiting for Peter Cetera, Huey Lewis, The Bangles and Stacey Q to make comebacks.
In non-music observations, Madonna was wearing a grill in her mouth on the red carpet. Why? She looked ridiculous. I think it would have been better if she wore a Weber gas grill instead. From my friend Jen Rice "I don't want to live in a world where Andy Samberg is seated a whole tier ahead of U2." Preaching to the choir sister. And do Liam Neeson's movies have a screenplay anymore? Or just say "Go save people with your special skills!"? Bless him.
Now country's answer to Justin Bieber (except with talent, no drug problem, and no dbag attitude) aka Hunter Hayes is performing a serious song about self-esteem and being yourself. Easy when you are a pretty boy country star. Sentiment is good though. Is he 5'4" or something? The kid can sing though. Now, pop duo/group performance presented by Anna Faris from Mom and Latin superstar Juanes who looks like a Latin Colin Ferrell except he knows what it's like to have a hit, unlike Colin...BURN!! notJustinnotJustin... Get Lucky by helmet heads with Pharrell and the always cool Nile Rodgers. I guess they don't speak. If they win album of the year...short speech! But why the helmets? I know they are French but they can't be THAT ugly.
Now Steve Coogan from Philomena (Great movie if you haven't seen it. It'll really touch ya) plus he was in Tropic Thunder. He's introducing Katy Perry and Oscar Winner Juicy J (for the song It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp, no I'm not kidding). Wow, this looks like a bad Meat Loaf video. Oh look, her bosom lights up. Is that a broom? Is she gonna fly away? Are they burning her at the stake? Oh dear goodness that was awful. Sing a better song next time.
OK, that's enough for your attention span for now. More to come!
Now, to open the show, it's Mrs. Carter, aka Beyonce. She's in a chair, well, she's straddling a chair with a strobe light & fog machine, and she looks wet. If she had to take a shower after she got there, they shouldn't have put her first, or give her a better towel. Bless it. She's singing Drunk In Love. Maybe that'll be Bieber's defense for his charges. It's starting to look like the Paula Abdul Cold Hearted video with the outfit and chair. Oh looks, she's on a turntable. And there's Jay-Z to do his rap part. The couple that Grammys together stays together. Wait, maybe not, just look at Captain & Tennille. Sad, bless em. Blue Ivy should be happy to know her dad dances like every other dorky dad, or like Bill Cosby from the opening of The Cosby Show. Finally, the requisite shot of Taylor Swift dancing and singing along with whomever is performing.
Now, your host, Mr. Kangol Hat himself, LL Cool J. I still think LL stands for lip licking not Ladies Love. Those helmets on Daft Punk will never stop cracking me up. Super seriously sounding LL is a bit much though. It is funny how he went from Mama Said Knock You Out to "My mama loves watching you on NCIS: LA". They start out with Best New Artist, which goes to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. That's quite a houndstooth tux and velvet tux. Maybe they should have stopped by a thrift shop (see what I did there?). I guess Ryan Lewis doesn't talk? Is he like Teller from Penn & Teller.
Now Lorde is performing Royals. I'm sick of this song. Also, she kinda creeps me out when she performs. It's like she's the girl from The Ring when she sings. And is she supposed to be 16 or 17? Why does she look my age instead? Royals was kinda fun at first, now I'm over it. I'm sure it makes me unhip to be over it, but my musical tastes have never been described as hip. I'm still waiting for Peter Cetera, Huey Lewis, The Bangles and Stacey Q to make comebacks.
In non-music observations, Madonna was wearing a grill in her mouth on the red carpet. Why? She looked ridiculous. I think it would have been better if she wore a Weber gas grill instead. From my friend Jen Rice "I don't want to live in a world where Andy Samberg is seated a whole tier ahead of U2." Preaching to the choir sister. And do Liam Neeson's movies have a screenplay anymore? Or just say "Go save people with your special skills!"? Bless him.
Now country's answer to Justin Bieber (except with talent, no drug problem, and no dbag attitude) aka Hunter Hayes is performing a serious song about self-esteem and being yourself. Easy when you are a pretty boy country star. Sentiment is good though. Is he 5'4" or something? The kid can sing though. Now, pop duo/group performance presented by Anna Faris from Mom and Latin superstar Juanes who looks like a Latin Colin Ferrell except he knows what it's like to have a hit, unlike Colin...BURN!! notJustinnotJustin... Get Lucky by helmet heads with Pharrell and the always cool Nile Rodgers. I guess they don't speak. If they win album of the year...short speech! But why the helmets? I know they are French but they can't be THAT ugly.
Now Steve Coogan from Philomena (Great movie if you haven't seen it. It'll really touch ya) plus he was in Tropic Thunder. He's introducing Katy Perry and Oscar Winner Juicy J (for the song It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp, no I'm not kidding). Wow, this looks like a bad Meat Loaf video. Oh look, her bosom lights up. Is that a broom? Is she gonna fly away? Are they burning her at the stake? Oh dear goodness that was awful. Sing a better song next time.
OK, that's enough for your attention span for now. More to come!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Here's the Golden Globes Y'all - Part 5!!!!!
Now, the Woody tribute. Emma Stone is presenting it because she's in the Woody film coming out this year. After all the, well, unpleasantness with how it ended with Mia, I was wondering if they'd feature her at all. They did just a touch. Diane Keaton now comes out looking sharp as always in a suit and tie. Woody has worked with a lot of great actresses. He has a thing for the ladies. Still, dating your step-daughter, kinda creepy. And Diane Keaton cusses too. Apparently, Hollywood has a potty mouth! Who'd have thunk it?
Now to be a nerd about my career, Diane Keaton accepts for Woody. Then right after, a L'Oreal commercial featuring her comes on. The traffic department at NBC made that happen. That's part of what I did in my job, making sure commercials aired where they needed to.
Now back again, Liam Neeson introduces Gravity. He possesses a special set of skills...in introducing films. Great voice. Why can't I be Irish? Now, Ben Affleck, snubbed by the Oscars last year, presents best director. Just realized Hustle rhymes with Russell, think that's how American Hustle got its title? Hmm. But the winner is Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity. What a brilliant feat of technical movie-making there. Did you see Gravity? Great flick! I love that he made fun of people understanding his accent. Apparently, Sandra Bullock thought he said he was going to give her herpes, but he said earpiece haha. Love it. I've worked with a couple of dear wonderful ladies with accents. I understood them just fine and I love their accents. Just train your ears people, it's not that difficult!
Now Chris Evans & Uma Thurman (odd pairing) present best TV comedy. Late in the show, the banter gets cut to make sure the show doesn't go over. Brooklyn Nine-Nine wins. Golden Globes are better at awarding first year shows. I was rooting for Big Bang Theory or Girls since I stopped watching the other shows at some points in time. Speaking of Girls, I'm taping it right now since it premieres tonight. So yeah, that's my night. Wow, Terry Crews is in a VERY blue suit. DANG! I mean REALLY blue.
Now Jennifer Lawrence presents best actor in a motion picture comedy/musical. I like her with the short hair I have to say. The award goes to Leonard DiCaprio for Wolf of Wall Street. I do want to see it, but my word it's 3 hours long with tons of F words. It's like a Baptist business meeting when they are trying to get rid of a preacher (I kid! I kid!). But 3 hours? DANG! Edit Marty Edit! Now Reese Witherspoon is introducing 12 Years a Slave. It is a BRIGLLIANT movie but very tough to watch. Glad Reese is coming out with another movie. Missed her in good movies. Last time I saw her on screen, she was in Atlanta yelling at a cop.
Once again a movie featuring a real person brings out the real life inspiration for the movie. Rush did it with Chris Hemsworth and the inspiration for the guy who played his rival who was severely burned. That rivalry propelled that guy to get back on the track. Cool huh? Now a pregnant Drew Barrymore is presenting best musical/comedy motion picture. I'm guessing American Hustle. Will I be right? Yes, I will be? Why am I right? Because I'm me, that's all you need to know. Elisabeth Rohm, as awful as she was in Law & Order, she was that good in American Hustle. Good for her. Gotta love it when they play folks off the stage.
OK, Tina's Leo joke? PERFECTION! Now best actress in a drama. I'm sure most will be rooting for Sandra for Gravity, but Cate Blanchett was just perfection in Blue Jasmine, truly perfection. And this is from someone who loved Gravity and Sandra's performance in it. Plus, did you see Sandra's dress tonight? No, just no. Plus, Cate was robbed of a lead Oscar by my sworn enemy Gwyneth Paltrow (Cate for Elizabeth and Gwyneth for Shakespeare in Love). Great speech Cate! Now the lovely redhead Jessica Chastain presents best actor in a drama to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club. He gave a great performance in it. Tight race between him and Chiwetel Ejiofor. YES!! He did Alright Alright Alright. Who knew you could still have a career and make good movies after being in crap Rom-Coms with Kate Hudson and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Johnny Depp presenting motion picture drama. Ugh, just not a fan of his. Sorry, I know many of you are fans. But does he know where he is? Does he know where a shower is? And the winner is...12 Years a Slave. I was afraid it was getting shut out tonight. It is a great film, not entertaining and tough to watch, but brilliant and harrowing. The performances were amazing and the story stays with you.
Well, that's it everyone. I hope you enjoyed it all. I know the Grammys are in a few weeks so you know I'll be making my thoughts known on that one. I mean, come on! Until next time...
Now to be a nerd about my career, Diane Keaton accepts for Woody. Then right after, a L'Oreal commercial featuring her comes on. The traffic department at NBC made that happen. That's part of what I did in my job, making sure commercials aired where they needed to.
Now back again, Liam Neeson introduces Gravity. He possesses a special set of skills...in introducing films. Great voice. Why can't I be Irish? Now, Ben Affleck, snubbed by the Oscars last year, presents best director. Just realized Hustle rhymes with Russell, think that's how American Hustle got its title? Hmm. But the winner is Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity. What a brilliant feat of technical movie-making there. Did you see Gravity? Great flick! I love that he made fun of people understanding his accent. Apparently, Sandra Bullock thought he said he was going to give her herpes, but he said earpiece haha. Love it. I've worked with a couple of dear wonderful ladies with accents. I understood them just fine and I love their accents. Just train your ears people, it's not that difficult!
Now Chris Evans & Uma Thurman (odd pairing) present best TV comedy. Late in the show, the banter gets cut to make sure the show doesn't go over. Brooklyn Nine-Nine wins. Golden Globes are better at awarding first year shows. I was rooting for Big Bang Theory or Girls since I stopped watching the other shows at some points in time. Speaking of Girls, I'm taping it right now since it premieres tonight. So yeah, that's my night. Wow, Terry Crews is in a VERY blue suit. DANG! I mean REALLY blue.
Now Jennifer Lawrence presents best actor in a motion picture comedy/musical. I like her with the short hair I have to say. The award goes to Leonard DiCaprio for Wolf of Wall Street. I do want to see it, but my word it's 3 hours long with tons of F words. It's like a Baptist business meeting when they are trying to get rid of a preacher (I kid! I kid!). But 3 hours? DANG! Edit Marty Edit! Now Reese Witherspoon is introducing 12 Years a Slave. It is a BRIGLLIANT movie but very tough to watch. Glad Reese is coming out with another movie. Missed her in good movies. Last time I saw her on screen, she was in Atlanta yelling at a cop.
Once again a movie featuring a real person brings out the real life inspiration for the movie. Rush did it with Chris Hemsworth and the inspiration for the guy who played his rival who was severely burned. That rivalry propelled that guy to get back on the track. Cool huh? Now a pregnant Drew Barrymore is presenting best musical/comedy motion picture. I'm guessing American Hustle. Will I be right? Yes, I will be? Why am I right? Because I'm me, that's all you need to know. Elisabeth Rohm, as awful as she was in Law & Order, she was that good in American Hustle. Good for her. Gotta love it when they play folks off the stage.
OK, Tina's Leo joke? PERFECTION! Now best actress in a drama. I'm sure most will be rooting for Sandra for Gravity, but Cate Blanchett was just perfection in Blue Jasmine, truly perfection. And this is from someone who loved Gravity and Sandra's performance in it. Plus, did you see Sandra's dress tonight? No, just no. Plus, Cate was robbed of a lead Oscar by my sworn enemy Gwyneth Paltrow (Cate for Elizabeth and Gwyneth for Shakespeare in Love). Great speech Cate! Now the lovely redhead Jessica Chastain presents best actor in a drama to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club. He gave a great performance in it. Tight race between him and Chiwetel Ejiofor. YES!! He did Alright Alright Alright. Who knew you could still have a career and make good movies after being in crap Rom-Coms with Kate Hudson and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Johnny Depp presenting motion picture drama. Ugh, just not a fan of his. Sorry, I know many of you are fans. But does he know where he is? Does he know where a shower is? And the winner is...12 Years a Slave. I was afraid it was getting shut out tonight. It is a great film, not entertaining and tough to watch, but brilliant and harrowing. The performances were amazing and the story stays with you.
Well, that's it everyone. I hope you enjoyed it all. I know the Grammys are in a few weeks so you know I'll be making my thoughts known on that one. I mean, come on! Until next time...
Here's the Golden Globes Y'all - Part 4!!!!
Now, it's time for best Foreign Language film, presented by Orlando Bloom and a mute Zoe Saldana and it's a huge upset as none of the 3 movies some in the US have actually heard of won. Italy wins for The Great Beauty. By the way, apparently Zoe Saldana got a bedazzler for Christmas and went to town on that dress.
Amy & Tiny are back with goblets of something. Now, JLD is back in the TV section and the ladies had to just burn her. It's only fair. Now Jimmy Fallon & Melissa McCarthy are presenting. They are going with the scenario that Melissa got hit on the head by a sandbag and thinks she's Matt Damon. Funny enough, they are presenting the award with Matt Damon as a nominee. How will this work? Hmmm...Best actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries goes to...Michael Douglas as Liberace in Behind the Candelabra. Oh sequins and fur coats. Now he's got a Colonel Sanders goatee. Just saying. And he still thanks Catherine Zeta-Jones, awww, did they ever get divorced? I don't know & don't care really. Stalking on facebook brings my fulfillment of relationship drama and I don't have to go through the shame of reading about it in the checkout line at Kroger like I do with Hollywood stars.
Now, a promo for the new Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. They showed Jay Leno with him as well. Let's hope this time, Jay doesn't get mad and try to take it back. Now Hermione and Captain Kirk present best animated feature to Frozen. I still have to watch it. And if you haven't seen Emma Watson in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, please do, she's great.
Now, Colin Ferrell introduces Inside Llewyn Davis, the new Coen Brothers movie about folk singers in the 60s. I don't think I'll like it. I'm not always a Coen fan. This one has Justin Timberlake trying to act, so that's another reason not to. I do like a lot of their stuff, but it's either LOVE or HATE. Now girl from Game of Thrones is presenting best actress in a TV comedy with Chris O'Donnell. She had Bono giving her a back rub during the announcements and...SHE WON!! This is her first win. So proud for her. She is one of the funniest folks around.
Coming up next, they'll present the Cecil B. DeMille award, the lifetime achievement award to Woody Allen. But he never shows up at these things so apparently Diane Keaton is accepting for him. My very favorite Woody Allen story came recently from his son, Ronan. Ronan tweeted a couple of years ago "Happy Father's Day, or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day." haha. But now Mia says Ronan could be Sinatra's son, so who knows. Gotta love Hollywood huh?
OK, that'll do for this section. I'll have the last hour be all together. Almost done kids!
Amy & Tiny are back with goblets of something. Now, JLD is back in the TV section and the ladies had to just burn her. It's only fair. Now Jimmy Fallon & Melissa McCarthy are presenting. They are going with the scenario that Melissa got hit on the head by a sandbag and thinks she's Matt Damon. Funny enough, they are presenting the award with Matt Damon as a nominee. How will this work? Hmmm...Best actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries goes to...Michael Douglas as Liberace in Behind the Candelabra. Oh sequins and fur coats. Now he's got a Colonel Sanders goatee. Just saying. And he still thanks Catherine Zeta-Jones, awww, did they ever get divorced? I don't know & don't care really. Stalking on facebook brings my fulfillment of relationship drama and I don't have to go through the shame of reading about it in the checkout line at Kroger like I do with Hollywood stars.
Now, a promo for the new Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. They showed Jay Leno with him as well. Let's hope this time, Jay doesn't get mad and try to take it back. Now Hermione and Captain Kirk present best animated feature to Frozen. I still have to watch it. And if you haven't seen Emma Watson in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, please do, she's great.
Now, Colin Ferrell introduces Inside Llewyn Davis, the new Coen Brothers movie about folk singers in the 60s. I don't think I'll like it. I'm not always a Coen fan. This one has Justin Timberlake trying to act, so that's another reason not to. I do like a lot of their stuff, but it's either LOVE or HATE. Now girl from Game of Thrones is presenting best actress in a TV comedy with Chris O'Donnell. She had Bono giving her a back rub during the announcements and...SHE WON!! This is her first win. So proud for her. She is one of the funniest folks around.
Coming up next, they'll present the Cecil B. DeMille award, the lifetime achievement award to Woody Allen. But he never shows up at these things so apparently Diane Keaton is accepting for him. My very favorite Woody Allen story came recently from his son, Ronan. Ronan tweeted a couple of years ago "Happy Father's Day, or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day." haha. But now Mia says Ronan could be Sinatra's son, so who knows. Gotta love Hollywood huh?
OK, that'll do for this section. I'll have the last hour be all together. Almost done kids!
Here's the Golden Globes Y'all - Part 3!!!
2nd hour, it's starts with the Australian guy from House, the guy dating Gaga (and wearing some horrid blue jacket, did she dress him?) and some woman with big messy hair who's apparently dating Johnny Depp present best supporting TV actor to Jon Voigt and his scarf. As odd as Angelina Jolie can be, her dad is still a bit odder. Caught a glimpse of Edie Falco and it looks like she was putting away her Christmas decorations and the bow on top of her tree got stuck to her dress. Bless her! Ray Donovan just didn't look like the kind of show I'd watch, so I didn't.
I almost wondered why Olivia Wilde had a beer gut, but I remembered she was pregnant so it's ok. I mean unless she's drinking like that while pregnant but I doubt she is. She's introducing the movie Her. I can't wait to see this. Joaquin Phoenix usually creeps me out, but he doesn't seem to in this. But Rooney Mara who was in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is in it and she DOES scare me, more off screen than on. Now Robert Downey Jr. hilariously introduces the nominees for best actress in a comedy/musical. He tells how he's a winner no matter who wins because of what they can do for him haha. Amy Adams wins for her brilliant performance in American Hustle. She was FANTASTIC. I hope she gets an Oscar nomination (as long as Cate wins the Oscar). She gave such a heartfelt speech. And as low cut as that dress is, we can just about see her heart. And commercial
Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon introduce Miss Golden Globe, always a child of stars, their daughter Sosie Bacon. That's a name. Then Tina & Amy barge in as Tina and her son Randy who apparently is the son of Harvey Weinstein. Bless Randy's heart. Now best actress in a drama goes to NOT CLARE DANES!! Good, I am over Homeland. I was rooting for Tatiana Maslany from Orphan Black (Great show, check it out!!) but Robin Wright wins for putting up with Sean Penn all those years. How else do you explain Madonna winning for Evita? Look at our Jenny Gump, Lord make her a bird so she can fly, far far away!
Now Jim Carrey arrives to big applause, mainly because they weren't screening one of his recent films (really, what's been up with you Jim?). He's introducing American Hustle, a fun train ride of a movie. Now Christoph Walz presents best supporting actor to Jared Leto for Dallas Buyer's Club. He was brilliant in this film. Heartbreaking. Jared looks a little greasy and after weirdness at first, he settles into his speech.
Russell Crowe and Colin Ferrell are co-starring in some weird Irish fantasy film coming out next month. It looks bizarre and I have no idea what it's about. I hope it's awful so I can go see it & mock it. If it's boring I'll be disappointed. Now Emma Thompson comes out with a martini and her shoes off and is flipping hilarious for best screenplay. The award goes to Spike Jonez for Her! Big upset over American Hustle. I remember Spike making many of the best music videos of the 90s. Which ones? Buddy Holly by Weezer, Sabotage by Beastie Boys, It's Oh So Quiet by Bjork, Praise You by Fatboy Slim. How's that for a start? Now Laura Dern is on introducing Nebraska starring her dad Bruce Dern. Everyone all at once...AWWW! I do want to see this film too. Big Alexander Payne fan.
Look, Amy & Tina are back. They were gone so long until the Miss Golden Globe presentation, I thought they were backstage doing body shots off Channing Tatum or something. Now, Seth Myers (who can't leave SNL soon enough for me) and Julie Bowen (who was so charming on Ed) present best actor in a comedy to Andy Samberg for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I gave up after a few episodes. Should I start back? Andy Samberg always sounds and looks like a 15 year old. Even his wife looks like they walk to homeroom together.
OK, that looks like enough for part 3. Y'all sick of me yet? I am ;-)
Here's the Golden Globes Y'all - Part 2!!
The first half hour had a lot going on, so I went ahead and published it while it was still in a size made for short attention spans. Amy & Tina started with fake foreign journalist names. They cut to a shot of Gwyneth Paltrow opening a bottle and looking bored. That's pretty much how I look when I watch a Gwyneth Paltrow movie (cue rimshot). Now Jonah Hill & Margot Robbie introduce The Wolf of Wall Street, but the prompter has the wrong words. Whoops, but they handle it well. Who watched "Superbad" back in the day and thought "That Jonah Hill, one day he'll be an Oscar nominee and be in a Scorsese movie"? Yeah, not me.
Now, Aaron Eckhart & Paula Patton present best actor in a TV drama. Paula Patton had some sort of fabric alien monster attack her dress. Bless her. Funniest moment, Michael Sheen's daughter was about to take a sip of something to drink when the camera got on her. Her eyes got HUGE. Yes, funny. It's not like she was mortified or embarrassed for life so don't worry. Bryan Cranston wins for Breaking Bad as America's favorite meth dealer. And now, best TV series drama, because why go in any particular order. Breaking Bad wins best show. I was totally rooting for The Good Wife though. It's my favorite show on TV right now. I'm actually taping it tonight while the Globes are on. Well, DVRing it, but since I'm almost 40, I guess I still say tape lol.
Commercial time. Then all the fake air kisses and all. Watching some of the pre-show because the ballgame wasn't close at first, apparently Taylor Swift is best friends with every actress under 25 in Hollywood: Lena Dunham (explain that one), Jennifer Lawrence, Sarah Hyland from Modern Family, and Kelly Osbourne too. Not just friends, but BEST FRIENDS. She wears me out.
Now introducing the movie Philomena (which I want to see) about a woman who tries to find the son who was taken from her 50 years before, the writer/co-star, Steve Coogan (from Tropic Thunder) brings out the real Philomena. That's a very sweet moment. And now, Usher is onstage with Kate Beckinsale (ex-wife of Michael Sheen by the way) and Sean "Puff Daddy Puffy P. Diddy Now just Sean" Combs. That's quite the trio. They present best score to All Is Lost. He has long hair that he piled on top of his head so it looks like a bird's nest. Turns out Sean Combs partied with him on a boat in St. Baart's, Puffy came up behind him, unbuttoned his jacket and said "Let it flow!" No, I'm not kidding, I can't make this stuff up. Hopefully the award for this guy comes with a free shower. For a movie that takes place all in the water, he looks grungy. Now best song: Coldplay, Disney musical, U2, JT, Taylor Swift. The award goes to U2 for their song from Mandela. Good, I love U2. I want him to have an Oscar because I'm odd that way. Plus, it's a good song. I love how Puffy made the announcement of the award all about him. One day Puffy will come out of his shell. I love how The Edge first of all still calls himself The Edge and how he always has that hat on. Don't stop being YOU The Edge! Great tribute to Mandela by Bono at the end.
Well, that'll do for your part 2! Hey that rhymes! I'm a poet and didn't know it. Hey THAT rhymes too. Are you ready for Eddie? ONCE AGAIN! I rock!
Now, Aaron Eckhart & Paula Patton present best actor in a TV drama. Paula Patton had some sort of fabric alien monster attack her dress. Bless her. Funniest moment, Michael Sheen's daughter was about to take a sip of something to drink when the camera got on her. Her eyes got HUGE. Yes, funny. It's not like she was mortified or embarrassed for life so don't worry. Bryan Cranston wins for Breaking Bad as America's favorite meth dealer. And now, best TV series drama, because why go in any particular order. Breaking Bad wins best show. I was totally rooting for The Good Wife though. It's my favorite show on TV right now. I'm actually taping it tonight while the Globes are on. Well, DVRing it, but since I'm almost 40, I guess I still say tape lol.
Commercial time. Then all the fake air kisses and all. Watching some of the pre-show because the ballgame wasn't close at first, apparently Taylor Swift is best friends with every actress under 25 in Hollywood: Lena Dunham (explain that one), Jennifer Lawrence, Sarah Hyland from Modern Family, and Kelly Osbourne too. Not just friends, but BEST FRIENDS. She wears me out.
Now introducing the movie Philomena (which I want to see) about a woman who tries to find the son who was taken from her 50 years before, the writer/co-star, Steve Coogan (from Tropic Thunder) brings out the real Philomena. That's a very sweet moment. And now, Usher is onstage with Kate Beckinsale (ex-wife of Michael Sheen by the way) and Sean "Puff Daddy Puffy P. Diddy Now just Sean" Combs. That's quite the trio. They present best score to All Is Lost. He has long hair that he piled on top of his head so it looks like a bird's nest. Turns out Sean Combs partied with him on a boat in St. Baart's, Puffy came up behind him, unbuttoned his jacket and said "Let it flow!" No, I'm not kidding, I can't make this stuff up. Hopefully the award for this guy comes with a free shower. For a movie that takes place all in the water, he looks grungy. Now best song: Coldplay, Disney musical, U2, JT, Taylor Swift. The award goes to U2 for their song from Mandela. Good, I love U2. I want him to have an Oscar because I'm odd that way. Plus, it's a good song. I love how Puffy made the announcement of the award all about him. One day Puffy will come out of his shell. I love how The Edge first of all still calls himself The Edge and how he always has that hat on. Don't stop being YOU The Edge! Great tribute to Mandela by Bono at the end.
Well, that'll do for your part 2! Hey that rhymes! I'm a poet and didn't know it. Hey THAT rhymes too. Are you ready for Eddie? ONCE AGAIN! I rock!
Here's the Golden Globes Y'all - Part 1!
I'm so glad Amy & Tina are hosting the Golden Globes. They are truly genuinely funny folks. Meryl Streep's work in August: Osage County proves there are still good roles for Meryl Streeps over 60. Yep, I think Meryl pushed Glenn Close, Susan Sarandon, and Sigourney Weaver off a cliff. Best joke so far though was about Gravity "the movie shows that George Clooney would rather float off into space and die rather than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Great reaction shots from co-stars Sandra Bullock and Julianna Margulies. YES YES!! I know, George Clooney used to be on TV on a show from the 90s called "ER". Medical dramas used to be big. George Clooney was actually on 2 shows called ER. Only one of them you remember. Julia Louis-Dreyfus as a too cool film star now that she has a film nomination, puffing on her eCig and blowing off Reese Witherspoon, priceless! Go JLD (just don't beat Amy yet again).
Great monologue from Amy & Tina, now onto awards. Tom Hanks & Sandra Bullock came out of the audience to present. Yeah, that was odd. The winner was Jennifer Lawrence for her super fun turn in American Hustle. I thought it'd be the wonderful Lupita Nyong'o but I guess not. But Jennifer is very worthy. I'm no fashion plate, most of my clothes come from Kohl's so I guess I have room to grow, but is Julia Roberts wearing a blouse tucked into her dress? If so, why?
Now, TV supporting actress. Golden Globes does something odd. They don't divide it up by comedy/drama/movie, it's all in one. I was thinking half pint little Nashville girl would win it. I still remember that she was on Guiding Light years & years ago. Now she plays the slutty version of Taylor Swift on a primetime soap. You've come a long way baby! But the legendary Jacqueline Bisset wins. It's her first win in 5 nominations. I think Jennifer Lawrence's career hasn't been around as long as it took her to get up on stage. TV apparently has to sit in the very back like Baptists ready to get out of church right at noon. She's still talking, cussing, even though the music is playing. SHE JUST DOESN'T CARE!! NBC missed one of her words so the S word went out over the air. I hope you aren't offended. If so, I guess you'll just have to live with it. Nothing you can do.
Naomi Watts, whose appeal I just don't get, is presenting Best Movie/Miniseries with Mark Ruffalo who's always great. Behind the Candelabra wins, defeating American Horror Story. I figured that one, it really was the bigger deal, and AHS is a bit of a mess at times. Now, for best TV movie actress, the winner is Elisabeth Moss for Top of the Lake. Glad she won, she's always so good on Mad Men and never gets recognized. I tried watching Top of the Lake, but got bored early. I think I should try again. Oh, Moss cusses too, but at least they caught this one. I think she deserves an award because she was able to be & stay married to SNL weird guy Fred Armisen for a few years.
Now Matt Damon introduces Captain Phillips. I haven't seen this one yet but I want to. It looks really tense and good.
Well, that'll do for part 1 don't ya think? I think so too!
Great monologue from Amy & Tina, now onto awards. Tom Hanks & Sandra Bullock came out of the audience to present. Yeah, that was odd. The winner was Jennifer Lawrence for her super fun turn in American Hustle. I thought it'd be the wonderful Lupita Nyong'o but I guess not. But Jennifer is very worthy. I'm no fashion plate, most of my clothes come from Kohl's so I guess I have room to grow, but is Julia Roberts wearing a blouse tucked into her dress? If so, why?
Now, TV supporting actress. Golden Globes does something odd. They don't divide it up by comedy/drama/movie, it's all in one. I was thinking half pint little Nashville girl would win it. I still remember that she was on Guiding Light years & years ago. Now she plays the slutty version of Taylor Swift on a primetime soap. You've come a long way baby! But the legendary Jacqueline Bisset wins. It's her first win in 5 nominations. I think Jennifer Lawrence's career hasn't been around as long as it took her to get up on stage. TV apparently has to sit in the very back like Baptists ready to get out of church right at noon. She's still talking, cussing, even though the music is playing. SHE JUST DOESN'T CARE!! NBC missed one of her words so the S word went out over the air. I hope you aren't offended. If so, I guess you'll just have to live with it. Nothing you can do.
Naomi Watts, whose appeal I just don't get, is presenting Best Movie/Miniseries with Mark Ruffalo who's always great. Behind the Candelabra wins, defeating American Horror Story. I figured that one, it really was the bigger deal, and AHS is a bit of a mess at times. Now, for best TV movie actress, the winner is Elisabeth Moss for Top of the Lake. Glad she won, she's always so good on Mad Men and never gets recognized. I tried watching Top of the Lake, but got bored early. I think I should try again. Oh, Moss cusses too, but at least they caught this one. I think she deserves an award because she was able to be & stay married to SNL weird guy Fred Armisen for a few years.
Now Matt Damon introduces Captain Phillips. I haven't seen this one yet but I want to. It looks really tense and good.
Well, that'll do for part 1 don't ya think? I think so too!
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