And now, the Ice Princess of Country Music, Carrie Underwood, is on singing Two Black Cadillacs. Apparently the lead singer of The Cure is playing guitar for Carrie. She's pretty and has a great voice, but only maybe a couple of her songs actually connect with me. She thinks she has to sing loud all the time. For such a dark song, she sure was smiling a lot. Yes, she's my country music Jennifer Aniston. Now Miranda Lambert and Bruce Jenner are presenting Album of the Year. Oh wait, that's John Fogerty? DANG! Bless his heart. TayTay is nominated here. I kinda hope she loses so I can see THAT surprise face. She pretended she was happy for Eric Church. She's becoming a better actress after that Valentine's Day movie I guess. By the way, Miranda Lambert wins for best supporting dress. Is Eric Church really Boomhauer from King of the Hill? Nice of his wife to lend him her scarf too. Now Blake Shelton is performing with just him, 2 guitars, and a couple of singers. I like it when folks can perform big & small. Now The Band Perry is performing their new single and it's a lot more rocking than If I Die Young was. Ooh, choreographed kicks! What would George Jones say. Are the boys Perry trying to channel 80s Christian rock group Stryper with their look? The final new artist nominee looks like one of E!'s Girls Next Door or the star of a CW show. Well, actually that's accurate since I just looked her up and she was on One Tree Hill. Figured as much.
Hey look everyone, it's Howdy Doody presenting the New Artist of the Year, it's the guy with long hair and dumb vest, CONGRATS!! Now Jason Aldean is singing a song about 1994. Let's see, I was in college in 1994. Yeah, that's about it. Once again a song featuring a pseudo rap part. Really folks, how about you SING? But it is fun hearing Joe Diffie being the focal point of a song and seeing ol' Joe with that sweet mullet! I wonder how many in the audience (young folks I mean) actually know who Joe Diffie is. Now, it's Vocal Group time, Kaley Cuoco from Big Bang Theory just dared Jake Owen to shotgun a beer and smash the can on his head. That sounds pretty southern. Little Big Town wins the award, who knew motorboatin' would be so profitable!
Miranda Lambert, after an oh so classy intro from her hubby, is singing Mama's Broken Heart and every single woman/girl at the show seems to be singing along. Angry lady anthem maybe? It's like a clean You Oughta Know maybe? Now a musicbox dancer is presenting Song of the Year with Sheryl Crow. Sheryl, don't wear that again. Blake & Miranda win for Over You.
Now Little Big Town are performing. There is a couple lying in a chained up bed. Is this the new Saw movie? No, it's one of those floating wire dancer things. I will say this, their harmony is impeccable. That is NOT easy. Now singer Chris Young and Entertainment Tonight Barbie present best single of the year. Miranda wins again for Over You. OK, time for Nancy O'Dell to go back to her Dream Home.
And time for me to move on to hour #3. Still just ok, nothing awesome, nothing awful. Well, not too much too awful. No true hot mess, but the show is a mix of Vegas, Nashville, Rednecks, and White Trash. I feel at home. Top performer, hmmm, Miranda was the most fun, LBT was most heartfelt, but I like stripped down so I will go with Blake. Off to hour #3!
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