Sunday, August 29, 2010

I'm not drowning, there's no one here to save!

Welcome back blog readers. It's been a couple of weeks, I hope you missed me, because I enjoy being missed. Only in America and only on the interwebs could the travails of a single guy who does as little as possible be read by anyone. Well, the only people that read it are people who know me, so I guess it's not as spectacular as I would have myself believe. (cue the sound of bubble bursting).

Well, after an opening negative, I will now move on to a positive. I have now dropped 20 pounds through Weight Watchers and exercise. I still can't believe I get to say I've lost that much. Now, I have to keep it up because I'm nowhere near my goal yet. But I'm very proud of that 20 pounds. It came off easier than I thought it would. That's just an evil tease of that weight. Sure, the first 20 are easy, now try for more. I'll kick your butt you stupid weight! BRING IT ON!

I've been going to the movies lately for some tacky cheesy horror movies. Piranha 3D was exactly what I thought. It was gory, bloody, and stupid. I had a great time! I went to see The Last Exorcism this past Friday night. It wasn't exactly what I expected. It took a few turns. Some people will hate the twists. I may not have agreed with them, but I appreciated them. I think the twists can be traced back to stuff earlier in the movie too. It's not for everyone, but it kept me on the edge of my seat. If scary movies scare you, well, then, you are a wuss. MAN UP!

I've taken a few daycations lately as well. Last weekend, I went to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. I went expecting to find a bunch of really nerdy people in ye olde timey garb speaking like bad Shakespeare and generally being annoying. Sadly, I was wrong. But I still had a good time. The look of it was fantastic. It's on the estate of a winery in PA and the old buildings and all the trees made it look authentic. They had a lot of shops with all sorts of clothes, knick knacks, turkey legs, things like that. There was some stupid dance troupe which was a bit ridiculous. But I did get to see a guy in stilts as part of an audience participation circle dance. You don't see that everyday. Once a week, maybe, but not everyday. The Queen was also there! Not Helen Mirren, or Aretha Franklin, the ACTUAL Queen!! Sure, she died in 1603 but it had to be her. They also had some performance shows. One was a group of Squires & Sirens telling dirty jokes & singing dirty songs. Apparently, the time of Elizabeth I was like an episode of HBO's Def Comedy Jam. Who knew! There was a human chess match which had two knights fighting because one insulted the other. They finished it on the final jousting field. One knight championed by Sir Francis Drake, the other by Sir Walter Raleigh. Well, Raleigh's guy insulted the Queen a few times. It made it seem like a 16th century WWE match. Turns out that Raleigh's guy, unbeknownst to Raleigh, was working with the Spanish king to overthrow Good Queen Bess. Then there were attacks, explosions, blood, all sorts of fun stuff. Overall, it was a well done production. Very professional, with dirty jokes, fire, knives, another Spanish defeat! Next time, I need to have a turkey leg!

Yesterday, I went to the Inner Harbor. A bright sunny day. I got on a speedboat. I got a sunburn. But I look good with color. It helps me avoid looking like a vampire extra from Twilight or True Blood. But being around people, at the Faire or out in public, I've come to realize that we really need to keep people from wearing certain things in public. Not every body type was made to wear a tank top with, um, a lack of support. Not every foot was made for flip flops. Think before you go strapless. All shorts should be a minimum length on your leg. Also, bikers, are bike shorts REALLY necessary? I need scientific evidence or an episode of Oprah to convince me. I just don't get them. Also, I wonder, are bike riders supposed to be like car drivers or like pedestrians when on the road? I've seen both & it confuses me.

My next goal in life is to win a contest. HGTV is giving away an apartment in NYC. A NICE apartment. I want that!! I was gonna get political on stuff, but ya know what, I don't have the energy to do that tonight. I'll tell everyone on both sides how stupid they are at another time in the future. For now, I'll go back to watching the Emmys. I've been pretty happy with the awards so far. However, I never wanted Kyra Sedwick to win for The Closer because her southern accent is horrific. Anyway, how ya doin? How's yer mama n'em?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Daycation All I Ever Wanted

I'm becoming increasingly aware that people actually read & follow what I write & what I do. Wow, I don't know how I feel about that. haha. It gives me pressure to keep it entertaining. Eh, I'll do what I've always  done. I'll write to entertain myself. If others are entertained, so be it!

As you know, I went to Philly on Saturday. Earlier in the week, I decided I needed a day trip on Saturday, or as I called it, a "daycation". I thought I was clever and original with the name. Um, no, I wasn't. I still like it though. After scouring the area to see what was within driving distance, I settled on Wilmington & Philadelphia. After researching Wilmington further, I decided I'd only lunch in Wilmington and spend the afternoon in Philly. Come Friday, I still didn't know exactly what I'd do in Philly. I did find a lunch place though. A retro type diner in Wilmington. I even kinda knew what I'd order. Then, luck and Google would shine on me. WALKING TOUR. I love walking tours. You get to see so much more. This one took you to the historical areas in Philly. Then, more luck. There was a deal to get a few bucks off when you buy a walking tour ticket AND a ghost tour ticket (called Spirits of 76. Clever!). Boom, my day was planned.

After my exercise class Saturday morning (yup, still going to the tai chi/yoga/pilates hybrid class. The people in it are very nice too. Some of the moves are just odd though), I got ready to head out. Still no scale at the gym after some MO-ron smashed the old one to smithereens. A picture of it was even posted. Bizarre! I didn't get lost at all on the way. I would have gotten there sooner but there were a couple of wrecks. By the time I reached them, the wreck & police presence was over. I'm guessing folks were slowing down to look. DON'T DO THAT!! Drive past and move on. I think people who slow traffic by rubber necking should have their car keyed. I also  had to pay a couple of tolls. I've never been through many tolls booths. I've only been a passenger through them. I didn't realize it until I went through them. Is it odd I've never tolled? Anyway, some of these toll booths reminded me of pit stops in NASCAR. You get off the exit at the same time them you split off and find the booth with the shortest line before anyone else gets there. I was expecting to get my tires changed or radio my crew chief. Since I left from Maryland and came back to PA, I had different routes. The route going back had 1 toll. There were 2 coming from MD. Just saying.

Anyway, made it to lunch. Friendly retro place. Most of the servers were guys. That was odd to me. Had the Monte Cristo, which was ham, turkey, & swiss on French toast. Pretty good. Plus a side of home fries. It was way too much for me to eat all of. Then on to Philly. Found my parking garage, then tried to find my tour which was many blocks away. Yeah, I should have taken a cab (or is it a taxi, or a taxicab?). Twice I was asked if I was from Philly so they could ask directions. I think it's because I made eye contact with them. Here's a hint, if someone makes eye contact, they probably aren't local lol. Saw giant board game pieces in front of a museum, a guy riding a motor scooter shirtless, and a guy skateboarding in traffic, stopping at a red light & everything. So yeah, weird.

Finally found where I needed to be. This exercise must be paying off because my walking was fine :-) GO ME!! At first, I was the only one on the tour, then others joined at the last minute, including 3 Brits. I find that hilarious, but they were awesome. Tour guide was great. Very informative, plus he's an actor so he sold it really well and did a few accents. Got to see a lot of historic places that shaped the country today. After the tour was over, I still had a few hours to kill before the ghost tour. So I decided to go ahead and eat. I found a place that served cheesesteaks. Probably not a well known place for them, but I didn't care. Had one, had some baklava and a diet ginger ale. All in all, pretty nice. Then I still had a ton of time to kill so I found the place, then walked around a while longer and saw some more cool buildings. Finally, the ghost tour started. I don't believe in ghosts and spirits and stuff like that. I know that sounds strange since this is my 3rd ghost tour (in addition to Chattanooga and Fell's Point) but it's fun hearing the scary stories and walking around the town. There were 2 children on this tour. Why you'd take a child on a scary GHOST tour is beyond me. One kid was about 9 or so and she was smart and she was fine. The other poor girl was about 4 years old (Yeah, 4 on a ghost tour. Lazy parents) and kept talking and asking questions and asking if the ghosts were mean & stuff like that. Plus, some of the stories were pretty gruesome. I saw no orbs, no spirits, no specters, no cold chills, nothing. After that, I got in a cab, back to my garage, and off I went alone into the dark Pennsylvania night.

All in all, it was a good day. I saw a lot, got to do some fun things, eat, say I've been to Philly. I did have to cross over one sort of scary bridge, but it could have been worse. Plus, the temperature wasn't too warm. I was fine in jeans. The world didn't need to see me in shorts. Oh, and 1 person got that the A on my shirt stood for the University of Alabama. He asked if Bama was gonna win the SEC. I told him yep. I would have stayed and chatted with him, but we were about to start the tour and he was on a break from the visitors center so he was probably about to head back to work. Less than 3 weeks till kickoff. RTR!

Got in at midnight Saturday/early Sunday. I was exhausted and sweaty. But I still made it up for church today. Then I went to see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. AWESOME movie. Too much fun. Action, comedy, non stop fun. Then back to church for a church wide meeting. It's fun seeing folks other than Sunday morning. You get to talk with them more when they aren't in a rush.

I haven't lost as much weight this week, but after a few days of futility, the scale at least is headed back down. WooHoo!! Other than all that, work, Dale Carnegie, and trying to help a friend get over a romantic crisis, life's been pretty simple. Got to decide when my next daycation is and where to go. I have friends in DC so I could go there. A lady in my exercise class and the awesome Janet Cash both suggested places in northern Virginia. But my next accomplishment will be my San Diego vacation next month. Maybe a trip to LA too while I'm there? I wonder if either of them have ghost tours. Hmm...but pre-schoolers aren't allowed this time.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

BEWARE IT'S A LONG BLOG:
Well, well. Another week and another month have come and gone. July was pretty good. I had two 4th of July parties, went to the carnival and the parade, turned 35, went home, saw my sweet girl Caroline, started exercising and Weight Watchers (and even lost weight!!), finished reading one book and even started another. Church & work were good. I saw Inception which was amazing. August, you are on alert, you better bring it!

So where should I start? OK, with the weight. I've been on WW a couple of weeks now and I've almost hit my first goal. I am even exercising 4 days a week. I went back to my BodyFlow exercise class. This time, I didn't have to chug down a SlimFast before class so I didn't feel sick 15 minutes in. Let me tell you, all that balancing and stretching ain't easy! Especially when you have to support your own body weight to do it. And the part where we work on abs, ok, listen skinny teacher, don't ask a person with a stomach to lay on their stomach. It just gets in the way. Same thing when I bend. But I was tired and sore after so that had to be good (plus I'm losing the weight). I was even able to, thanks to the freaky yankee summer, walk on the trail 2 nights this week. It's usually pretty low key with people walking or biking. But one guy had the NERVE to be fit and shirtless and running. Really, you are gonna show off? That ain't brave. Dragging my arthritic overweight out of shape self on the trail in sweatpants and chugging along at a good pace for 40 minutes, THAT'S BRAVE!

I'm still in awe of the number of people who read this thing. Weird that people are entertained by it. I'm surprised I am. But it makes me feel connected to friends. Well, this and Facebook. I swear, I keep up with people more now than I used to. Well, this Facebook and text messaging. But you get the drift.
Anyone have the iPhone 4 yet? Would it be worth selling my iPhone 3GS on eBay (what's with all the weird capitalization on stuff? WooHoo! I'm glad I don't do that) and investing in the iPhone 4? Or just forget it and live with what I got?

What's next? Um, let me get things which tick me off out of the way first. As you read on Facebook, Domino's is now my enemy. That's what I get for splurging. I order ahead to have it delivered at 730pm and it gets there cold an hour later. I call and I get excuse after excuse. Not "I'm so sorry. My sincerest apologies. You are correct sir". I didn't "Go Holt" on Antoine the phone answerer or George the driver. I did kinda "Go Holt" on Domino's in one of my famous complaint emails though.

#2 complaint is political ads. People buy too many of them. You think you hate watching them? Trying placing them! Politicians in Tennessee should be glad I don't live there. I'd say more but I still want the FCC to love me. Speaking of politics, here is #3 complaint. When did we as a nation turn politics into a playground shouting match? People can't discuss politics without this current of hatred and vitriol aimed at the other side. Commentators, who should be there (in my opinion) to help clear things up for us, instead stir the pot to where we don't know what's up and what's down. Politicians, you are worse. As lawmakers, you are entrusted with doing the best for the country. Instead, you do just enough to strike fear in your power base of voters so you can get re-elected. That's not helpful, that's not progressive. For YEARS now, you can't even admit if the other side does something good. That's why I'm looking into the Coffee Party Movement.

OK, enough of that. But going on those themes, like I've repeated to y'all ad nauseum, I just read "The Unlikely Disciple" by Kevin Roose, about a guy who spent an entire semester at Liberty University. He's not an evangelical conservative Christian. He's a liberal Quaker from the Ivy League. But I was happy when I read it that he was able to have most of his stereotypes busted, and busted theirs. A few of mine were reinforced, mainly Christian guys use of nicknames and facial hair. Add in fist bumps, seriously where did that start and can we end it soon--at least the ones where it looks like your hand explodes after you bump because that annoys me, and you have the triumvirate. But if someone can come into that environment and focus on similarities instead of differences, why can't all of us? Why do we look for differences which separate us instead of similarities to unite us? Why are we still living with an us vs. them mentality. This man was able to conduct an interview with Jerry Falwell and bring out his humanity even though his family and friends were fearful for him. If you can't like people because they are people, you really need to re-read the New Testament. These themes are also echoed in my current reading adventure, Kathryn Stockett's "The Help" about maids and race relations in 1960s Mississippi.

Finally, on a funny note, with just a little lyrical tinkering, I think I can turn Whitesnake's 80s power balled "Here I Go Again" into a Christian song. I am singing at church next Sunday, but I don't think I'll break it out just yet haha. Look at the lyrics and see if you can see it too. Maybe soon, I'll have it rewritten for ya. But for now, "Mad Men" wooHoo!!

I don't know where I'm goin
but I sure know where I've been
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again.

Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Just another heart in need of rescue
waiting on love's sweet charity
an' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go.