Thursday, November 1, 2012

CMA Awards - Hour #3

The hour starts with Carrie. It looks like a leftover Halloween cemetery set and I think she wore one of Tonya Harding's old ice skating outfits. Usually her voice is great though, but she sounds like she's forcing it. American Idol & gymnast giving out group of the year to Little Big Town! Congrats to them! Jason Aldean is singing now, and you can bet his wife will be keeping a very close eye on him tonight. This song shows off his voice much better than his opener. I still remember when he & Kelly performed their duet on the show a few years back. Awesome!

Now, Kelly & Vince!! I've been waiting all night for this song. Kelly sounds great, and Vince is doing great harmony. I'm still not used to seeing Kelly as a blonde though haha. Blake wins male vocalist again. He is truly crazy on the twitters haha

In the commercial break, I'm gonna break into the half price candy I bought at the Walgreens today. The best part of Halloween? The sales the day after! Now, back with Kenny. Where has he been? Or have I just overlooked him? No, that's not a short joke. OK, it is. Decent song, nothing special. Now the ladies from Nashville, the TV show (which doesn't totally thrill me) are presenting female vocalist. I think a couple of them have been drinking or at least sound like it. Thankfully, Connie Britton, who for me will be forever Tami Taylor from Friday Night Lights, looks better than she did at the Emmys.

Is Carrie wearing a wig? Just wondering. Lady A starts the Willie tribute. I figured they would sing this song. Most able to adapt to their style. Wow, his jeans are way too skinny and way too tight. He needs to work out, squats or something. They need to do a close up of Willie's eyes, see if they are dilated. Lady A sounds pretty but way too slow & low key, a bit of a drag. Let's see if the Lady A lady can breathe some life into Crazy. Her mama was the one who sang with Reba on Does He Love You. Just some trivia. Blake singing Whiskey River? That's perfect! Get in there too Keith. Good Hearted Woman with Faith & Tim. This song is in the PERFECT key for Faith this time around. That's the best she has sounded in a while. Then Willie himself took the stage. He still sounds good.

Reba & Tim Allen are presenting entertainer of the year. They shoulda let Reba sing! Sing Fancy!! Taylor didn't win (cue surprise face). Blake got a big boost from The Voice I guess. He's shocked, I can tell! He's genuinely thrilled. Taylor doesn't know what to do I think.

Well, them's the awards y'all. Hope y'all enjoyed. As they said at the end of Hee Haw "Y'all come back now, ya hear!"

CMA Awards - Hour #2

Hour 2 starts with Brad playing the Andy Griffith Show theme on his guitar with clips of Andy behind him. What a great simple tribute! Now, Taylor Swift. Will it be good or bad? What the smurf does a Paris cafe' have to do with country music? She is sounding better live now, although she has no lower register either. Listen to Trisha and she'll show you it's done. It's not a performance, it's a music video. NO, YOU CAN'T MENTION THE AWESOME JAMES TAYLOR IN YOUR SONG! But she's good at whisper singing. This isn't a country song. It's a nice pop song with a little fiddle in it. It's about as country as Snooki. Now, real country, Little Big Town singing Pontoon, a song about motorboatin, and about being on a boat. What's with this staging? AH makes sense now. Makes me want it to be summer again! They sound great, 4 part harmony like that isn't easy. If one person is off, it sounds bad. They sounded on.

Now, Luke Bryan takes the stage. The girls all seem to love him. He does a lot of dancing, but his voice & songs are good. He's way too energetic. I got tired watching him. Now I need ice cream. Jennifer Nettles looks about 10 months pregnant, and still out there and presenting. PLEASE NO LADY A! They annoy me now. Dale Gribble wins! Congrats to Eric Church. Now Hunter Hayes is playing a piano and singing. He should have sung in the first hour, it looks like he has algebra in the morning. He's what, 15? But for a kid, he sings pretty ok. Hope he doesn't have a test in the morning. My daddy heard the awards show on the radio during this song, he said "I don't know who this girl is singing" haha. He truly thought it was a female singing. Whoops :)

Connie Smith was feted with a Carrie & Brad performance of Once a Day. Connie is a country legend and married to Marty Stuart. Faith Hill is singing now. She sounds ok, but her voice isn't as strong as it used to be, the verses sound good, chorus not so much. Also, she needs to eat. I think my thigh is bigger around than her. I do like the song though. I don't know who this is singing now, but he looks like he's be in the crime beat section of the Tuscaloosa News for breaking & entering and/or assault.

Keith Urban now with Zac Brown. They aren't 2 I would put together, but you know, it actually works. Keith can play some guitar. New Artist goes to Hunger Hayes. He looks 12 and he's tiny. The other kids in gym class are gonna be SOOOO jealous tomorrow at school. Brad Paisley starts off with Empire State of Mind in tribute to NY/NJ, that's why he's awesome. I'm liking the song that's a tribute to the south though. Wow, he included a choir singing Dixie. He is a very good performer.

Now, on to hour 3!!

CMA Awards - Hour #1

Good evening and welcome to hickville. That's what I'm going to call my apartment tonight. I'm going to be watching the Country Music Association Awards, and I'm eating Hamburger Helper and instead of rolls, I have butter hamburger bun toast (I had rolls, but I MaryBelled them. They were just a little bit brown as my late beloved Granny would say). I like the CMAs because they are all about the performances PLUS they take time to show the awards. The performance I'm most looking forward to is Kelly Clarkson featuring Vince Gill. It's the new country song on Kelly's greatest hits CD. I've heard it and it's good. Hey Taylor, THIS is what country sounds like. How many surprise faces will Taylor give? How many notes will she miss? Don't make a drinking game out of either though. Alcohol poisoning kills.

Let's open the show with Jason Aldean with the requisite shout out to NY/NJ. Now, Luke Bryan. He looks Tony Romo a little bit, except he actually has some talent and could probably win a playoff game. Now Eric Church joins them. He reminds me of Dale Gribble from King of the Hill. This sounds more southern rock than country, but it wasn't bad. Good opener. WILLIE NELSON IS IN THE HOUSE! Let's hope there are no drug sniffing dogs there.

Now the awesome host Brad Paisley. Oh and Carrie is there too. Their opening song is usually pretty funny. They changed the horrible Moves Like Jagger song to Moves Like Haggard talking about singers puking on stage, driving drunk and naked, and drinking at 2. Ah, Merle! And the dead horse that is Psy's Gangnam Style got a few more beatings. Congrats on being 2 months late. They did get a Dolly joke in there. And they did a doping joke for Willie. I must say, once you reach a certain age, braided pigtails probably aren't a good look for a man.

First award is Single of the Year, presented by Lisa Marie Presley. Think she was hoping Nicole Kidman would be there to find out how she escaped. Little Big Town won for Pontoon. I've liked them since Boondocks. I'm happy for them! Although it does mention "motorboatin". For shame.

Now, Tim McGraw. Let's see if this song is better than some of the last junk I've heard from him. Ooh, lower the key. You sound like a bad church soloist on those high notes. Wow, Jake Owen is wearing what looks like a women's leopard print jacket. Why? Thompson Square wins Duo of the Year. The way they kissed, I hope they are married to each other or Lucy, they got some 'splainin to do. Talkin' about her Memaw and Mason Jars, she sounded more country than him. Now Miranda Lambert is singing about being the Fastest Girl in Town. She needs to slow down, whatever she ran into stuck to her shirt. It looks like Vegas roadkill. But she's still like Tanya Tucker without the drugs and Glen Campbell, and nowhere near as trashy as Tanya, but then again, who is? Miranda is a hillbilly rocker and I think she likes it that way.

A chubby bearded man in leather pants and a toboggan, gotta love Zac Brown Band. Finally a quieter song after louder ones with more emphasis on beat, not that those were bad. I liked Luke Bryan most in the first song. Tim, meh. Miranda, the music was too loud, couldn't hear her. I love how ZBB look like guys you wouldn't want sitting next to you on a plane, but they are awesome. Now a true country traditionalist, Dierks Bentley. I've always been a fan of his. Even when trying to sound very commercial, he's still good.

Oh look, Carrie changed clothes again. WOW! Now, The Band Perry. The first time I remember hearing them was when I was on the way to Wilmington, DE and heard If I Die Young, a sweet gentle song. Now, she's dressed like she's in a Whitesnake cover band and they have pointless lasers. Song is pretty good though. Lady country singers, work on your lower register or raise the key of your songs. I think Carrie's dress weighs more than she does. Now, here's Dale Gribble, I mean Eric Church with Springsteen. I do like this song. He does nostalgia better than Tim & Kenny. Eli Young Band is singing now. Eh, they are ok, nothing special, not standing out.

Now song of the year with one of my daddy's favorites Kellie Pickler and Darius Rucker. I see him and I still think of Hootie & the Blowfish and my college years. I still love that Kellie shaved her head in support of a friend with cancer. And the winner, country's reigning couple Blake & Miranda for her song Over You. You know they are wild & fun, but enough with the rock & roll devil horns Miranda.

Now on to hour #2!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Emmy Awards Hour #3

Jimmy Kimmel starts the hour by kicking he parents out after they told him he'd win an Emmy this year. Or something like that, I was putting up laundry when they came back from commercial. Now, movies & miniseries, and drama series would thought they'd face less competition in these categories.

Supporting actress in a movie/miniseries goes to Jessica Lange in no shock at all. But what she did to her face is the real American Horror Story. Don't look directly in her eyes.

Now Ellen is on with the president or chairman or something. See actresses, Ellen proves you can look great and aged without surgery. Kerry Washington is really tiny, WOW. Eat a sandwich please. Tom Berenger won for Supporting actor in a movie. To me, he'll always be Jake Taylor, a catcher in his last year playing for the Cleveland Indians. Wow, he was rambling in his speech. But in a boring way, not a train wreck drunk funny way.

After the Breaking Bad parody, that clip of the Andy Griffith show opening was jarring. But it was Ron Howard introducing those in TV who died (aka Death Parade) and starting with Andy Griffith. Usually, this is a contest to see which celeb gets the most applause. This year it seems they cut the mic in the auditorium so you couldn't hear. That's actually classy. Usually, the names in the list fall into several categories: Famous, didn't know they had died, didn't know they were still alive, who are they.

Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin in Game Change. I still have it on my DVR. I need to watch it. I had strong feelings about Sarah Palin as a candidate so I'm interested to see about the behind the scenes stuff. Glad Julianne Moore finally won a big award besides the Daytime Emmy for As the World Turns.

Susanna Hoffs' husband, and the director of the increasingly awful Austin Powers movies, won an Emmy for directing Game Change. Kevin Coster just won an Emmy for Hatfields & McCoys. He looks like a drunk uncle hitting on bridesmaids at a wedding reception.

Game Change wins best movie/miniseries. I can't wait to finally watch this on my DVR.

On to the series winners:
Drama series goes to: Homeland. BOOO!!! I didn't think it was best show worthy. I had big problems with the show. I laughed out loud at times.

Comedy series: And Modern Family wins AGAIN! It's a good show, but come on, where's the Big Bang Theory love? Nerds are disrespected.

OK, so that's the Emmys. I hope you enjoyed it. Eh, just ok for me.

Emmy Awards Hour #2

This starts the drama section of the Emmys. I do not want to see Downton Abbey sweep. I am sick of us outsourcing acting winners to overseas performers. Thankfully, the first one goes to Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad. He reminds me of Ryan Gosling for some reason.

Best shot of the Emmys night: Kathy Bates fanning herself with her lace fan shaking her head at the hijinks. LOVE IT! Now Connie Britton looking rougher than she did on Friday Night Lights or American Horror Story. Homeland won for the Pilot which was good. I had issues with the show as a whole, but the pilot was intriguing. Predictably Maggie Smith won for drama supporting actress for Downton Abbey. I was rooting for Christina Hendricks to win for Mad Men. Mad Men has never won an acting Emmy and I'm afraid Christina's chest will eventually consume her.

I was so happy Martha Plimpton won an Emmy for The Good Wife. She should have won last year for her episode of Raising Hope. But she's great on The Good Wife too. She presented with Jeremy Davies. He needs a haircut and flea dip. I think he asked me for money once at a gas station. I liked the parody of In Memoriam moments at awards shows with Josh Groban mourning Jimmy while singing One Direction.

Damian Lewis does just fine on Homeland, but why hasn't Jon Hamm won an Emmy for playing Don Draper? It's a dang shame. I'm rooting for Elisabeth Moss to win. She grew on me on Mad Men. But she won't win. Claire Danes is fine on Homeland but submitted the wrong episode so she should lose. As long as it's not a Brit. And she won. Oh well.

Now for Variety/Comedy series. Daily Show has won this 12zillion times in a row. Will he make it 12zillion and 1? Bill Maher has been nominated 12zillion times and never won anything. 12zillion and 1 now? Yes, and yes. Really Emmys, sing a different song. Kathy Bates is still not amused.

That's hour 2! Now on to Hour 3! Movies! Miniseries! Series wins!

Emmy Awards Hour #1

The Emmys opened with a sketch featuring female comedy nominees/winner/Connie Britton (drama for the much missed Friday Night Lights and American Horror Story) trying to buck up Jimmy Kimmel into hosting. Plus, they punched his face out of Botox. It was ok. Good shot of Lena Dunham shirtless eating cake. Very "Girls" (her show on HBO. It's good, not great to me, but good). Then he did his monologue, which was fine. Nothing memorable though.

On to the awards: Modern Family wins best supporting actor & actress in a comedy for Eric Stonestreet and Julie Bowen. I'm proud of Julie Bowen. Pretty skinny blonde women have such a rough time of it in Hollywood where the ugly and fat have free reign. Writing for a comedy series went to Louis CK for Louie. I need watch that show. Although Louis CK does look like the first guy who is always arrested on any of the Law & Orders. I do enjoy that they are giving the writing & directing nominees little skits instead of regular nomination roll calls. But the best skit so far: Breaking Bad redone as the opening to The Andy Griffith Show. That was AWESOME!

Modern Family skit about the girl playing Lily being a terror was ok, a little too wrong at times though. Lead actor starts with Melissa McCarthy lusting over all the nominees. She's so awesome. She still will always be Sookie from Gilmore Girls to me. And Jon Cryer wins for Two & a Half Men. I still can't watch that show, even moreso now with Ashton Kutcher on it. Cryer just seemed outclassed by the rest of the nominees in the category.

For lead actress in a comedy series, Colbert is presenting. He's awesome! "70% of women are great. Just like this category, 5 of the women are great. The other 2..." haha. Rooting for Amy or Zooey and the winner is Julia Louis Dreyfus for Veep. I've watched a few episodes, it's not bad. I love how Amy Poehler always has something funny planned for nominees win or lose.

Now Reality Shows. Eh. I keep up with the first few weeks of some then give up and move on and live a life. Oh look, Amazing Race wins again. Really? Emmys, find a new song to sing. I want Big Brother to win this next year thanks to Dan. But at least Tom Bergeron won. I don't watch DWTS, but the times I have watched it. He has made it palatable. Congrats Tom, plus he seems like a super nice guy!

On to hour 2!!!!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Tony Awards

I wasn't going to blog about the Tonys because most people I know don't watch them. I guess it's because not everyone can go up to NYC and see a bunch of shows and care. It's easier to plunk down $10 to see another movie. And a lot of folks aren't fans of characters singing and dancing for no reason at all, unless they are cartoons. But, it's usually one of the more entertaining and better produced shows, so why not.

The first number is the cast of The Book of Mormon doing their opening number "Hello" and starts with the cast ringing on the dressing rooms of celebs like Ricky Martin, Judith Light (from Who's the Boss!!), and James Earl Jones (yes, Darth Vader is a Broadway guy). I'm afraid what a musical about Southern Baptists would be like? (The Cookbook of Fried Chicken & Pie?). Neil Patrick Harris is the host again and his opening joke was funny. It's good that he loves theater and enjoys hosting and being on Broadway. His opening number is "What Is Life Were Just Like Theater". That is something to think about. I don't think my arthritis could allow me to dance like that. I'd ache. Very fun opening number. PLUS, they just cut to a shot of Emma Stone in the audience. AWESOME! Judith Light, aka Angela from Who's the Boss just won a Tony. Cool! And you thought Tony Danza was the acting talent carrying that show, wrong! Now here's the youngest Jonas, sounding sort of odd I must say, introducing the performance from Newsies. Yup, that forgotten musical with Christian Bale is now a stage musical. And WOW can they dance. I think I pulled a hamstring watching them. I'm guessing in context, the kid with a crutch makes sense.

Amanda Seyfried is here looking creepy and because she was in Mamma Mia and will be in Les Miserables. How long until they do a musical of Mean Girls? Don't steal my idea dang it! Now best revival of a musical nominee, Follies. It's very showy, but out of context it's a bit over the top. Surely this wasn't the best representation of the show. Going into work mode, it's always interesting to see which advertisers are featured in big events.

Back to the show, a performance from Ghost: The Musical. Yep, another movie turned into a musical. And they wisely kept Unchained Melody. The ghost is bathed in blue light, he kinda looks like a smurf or Violet from Willy Wonka. The allegedly evil guy had a sunken cheek. Is he a vampire or malnourished? It was a short and slightly confusing performance. What other movies would make good musicals? I'll get back with ya. Diane Sawyer's husband wins from directing Death of a Salesman with Philip Seymour Hoffman and the new Spider-Man. Now a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar. The guy singing Judas in this sounds the best of anyone so far tonight. The video screens are odd though. He's as charismatic as any TV preacher, but his backup dancers seem oddly static. SPIDER-MAN COMMERCIAL!!

Angela Lansbury came onstage telling about theater. She's almost 90 and still going. She's the Betty White of Broadway. Now the guy from Smash just beat the new Spider-Man for a Tony. Now the annoying teacher from Glee introduces the Gershwin revue (which means a musical featuring previous songs) Nice Work If You Can Get It. It has Matthew Broderick in it. They just did a montage of the year in plays. It was pretty good. Tough presenting clips from plays out of context.

Sheryl Crow is presenting the award for best score. Why her? Well, she just wrote a score for a new musical, Diner, based on the 80s classic. Cool huh? Now, a performance from the groundbreaking Porgy and Bess. Audra McDonald singing Summertime is sheer brilliance. Now, a performance of Once. I want to see this. I still haven't seen the movie, but the music from it is awesome, including the brilliant Oscar winning Falling Slowly. Now, Evita, featuring Ricky Martin. Most only know this from the Madonna movie. This is the first Broadway production to actually have an Argentine Evita. They were smart to showcase Ricky in this. He is the name. Surprised they didn't go with the best known song "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". Evita however looks like a blonde version of the Frau lady from Austin Powers. But c'mon, it's Evita, have Evita sing something. Although with Patti LuPone in the audience, that would have to be intimidating.

Now Corbin Bleu, who was in High School Musical, now looks to be in a high school production of Godspell. This is one where they go down the aisles and seem to want to get the audience involved. Most of the time, I really don't like that. I paid good money, YOU SING, I don't need to see some strangers sing. Now, a performance of Hairspray. This is an old show, why are they showing it? Well, money. It is being performed on Royal Caribbean cruise line. RC has been advertising throughout the show. It's all about money kids. Sales people will use whatever creative methods they can to get a client to sponsor and give your station money. Trust me, I know this. I deal with media sales every day. Thankfully, it wasn't too obvious and cheesy. Now the final nominated musical, Leap of Faith. This is the ONLY nomination for this musical. It has already closed or scheduled to close. It's the little seen musical based on the little seen Steve Martin movie from 1992 about a sham preacher. Yeah, I didn't think you'd remember it either.

All in all not a bad show. It's good to see what shows will be headed our way over the next few years. Hope you enjoyed it. Check out the performances on YouTube. I'm sure most of them will be there.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

MTV Movie Awards Blog #2

Russell Brand is unfunny again, now Kristen Stewart & Chris Hemsworth from Snow White are presenting Best Female Performance. Kristen Stewart always comes across as the most miserable person on the face of the earth. Why are you so unhappy, girl? Do you think Twilight sucks too? Jennifer Lawrence won for Hunger Games, and she was awesome in Hunger Games. And now, Charlie Sheen. He has always looked skeezy and nasty and like he was doing something he shouldn't. He is cementing the movie "Project X" (not the lab chimp movie from the 80s with Matthew Broderick and Helen Hunt) as an "Instant Cult Movie" or some such nonsense. Now Wiz Khalifa is performing. I admit, I had to look up how to spell his name because I'm mad white. Are they throwing toilet paper across the stage? Is this taking place at Toomer's Corner?

Now Adam Sandler Andy Samberg and some chick introduce best kiss. Adam Sandler seems like an embarrassing drunk uncle these days. Andy Samberg should just be embarrassed. And the winner is Twilight. Next.

Teen Moms, Snooki & JWoww? This is what my MTV has come to? Why? Now Joe Perry & Steven Tyler come out as a living PSA against tanning and drugs. No? They aren't? Oh, they are here to present the Generation Award to Johnny Depp. I have to say though, except for Edward Scissorhands, I'm not a Johnny Depp fan. I don't get him. Plus, he looks greasy. And he's sitting in with the Black Keys? Why do all actors think they are rock stars? I don't get it. Johnny Depp is gutsy apparently. Who knew playing the same role in every Tim Burton movie was gutsy? Sorry, just not a fan.

This show is dragging like a slow work day. The Joel McHale sketch wasn't too bad, mainly because it didn't have Russell Brand. Now fake sexism from Fassbender and then Charlize kicking his butt. This award is for Best Fight. The winner is NOT TWILIGHT but Hunger Games. Thankfully I like Hunger Games. Wow, Josh Hutcherson is tiny, or else those on stage are behemoths.

Wait, Jessica Biel is in the new Total Recall movie? They still let her act? Just put a picture of her in the corner for those who want to see her. Best cast should go to Bridesmaids or The Help but it actually goes to Harry Potter. I guess I can handle that. Harry Potter won for Best Hero. I guess saving the wizarding world is a good reason.

Dear MTV, these teen moms obviously have had trouble making good decisions in life. I don't think putting them on TV and having them in celeb magazines is going to help them in that regard. Cancel that show please. K, Thanks.

Matthew McHoweverYouSpellHisName and Channing Tatum are actually funny together present best on-screen transformation. Channing Tatum is a funny guy. The winner is Elizabeth Banks from The Hunger Games. MTV should be happy that Elizabeth is filthy minded haha.

Now Emma Stone receives the inaugural Trailblazer award from some actress I've never heard of. I'm happy though because I think she's awesome. This film of what stars think of her is hilarious! Also, MTV, it's not First Annual. It can't be First Annual. It can be First, or Inaugural, but it can't be annual until it's happened more than once. Turns out the actress I didn't know was in Superbad. She played Michael Cera's love interest. Wow, she really didn't break out at all did she? Bless her heart.

Ooh, Dark Knight clip time. YES!!

Jodie Foster, why are you there? You deserve so much better. But I have to say, you look great. Twilight won, how ridiculous. I sat through this show to have that wretched waste of celluloid win it? Kids who voted for this, please have someone take you to see good movies or have people tell you good movies to rent on Netflix.

OK kids, that's it. I lost at least 25 IQ points, if not more.

MTV Movie Awards Blog #1

Well kids, it's time for another awards show, this time it's the MTV Movie Awards. They are starting off with fun. singing there pervasive hit "We Are Young". This is gonna be a hot mess show, I can already tell. How, you may ask? Well, #1 I saw Vanilla Ice in the audience. #2 The guys from fun. are wearing white tux jackets, trimmed in black, and what can best be described as Mary Tyler Moore's capri pants from The Dick Van Dyke Show. They would have been better off switching tuxes with Janelle Monae. #3, Russell Brand is hosting. I'm already predicting he'll be awful. An easy prediction, he'll look like he needs a flea dip.

Here he is, flea dip prediction is true. Really, Mayan 2012 jokes are still being made? Sheen is there? Really? Ugh. Plus, he has to remind me he's in the Rock of Ages movie, which looks looks awful and I loved the stage production. I'm not sure what's more annoying and painful, Russell Brand or my psoriatic arthritis. Tough call. Now Mila Kunis and a high school history teacher, wait that's Mark Wahlberg, come out to present the award for On Screen Dirtbag and have to do a horrible intro about famous good people who are actually dirtbags. They were embarrassed, I was embarrassed for them and for the fact that Jennifer Aniston now has an MTV Movie Award. Bryce Dallas Howard was ROBBED! If you keep encouraging her, she'll never go back to TV where she belongs.

Thank goodness, EMMA STONE! And the latest British actor to come to the US to play an American superhero. Truly, this is an immigration problem. Lou Dobbs needs to be consulted. Emma is still awesome, even when cussing on here. She's got great comic timing. The winner for breakthrough performance is Shailene Woodley from The Descendants. She was really good in that movie, even if she started on that ABC Family show where she played a pregnant teen, and even if she did give a bit of a pretentious speech, bless her. Wait, time for another commercial already? Ugh, I hate dealing with commercials. Wait, I make my living from commercials. Nevermind, commercials are AWESOME!

Now, the 3 leads from a movie I am very much looking forward to, Perks of Being a Wallflower (truly a wonderful book, trailer looked great). Best male performance goes to NOT TWILIGHT!! and instead to Josh Hutcherson (although I would have put him #5 in that category). Really though, one award then a commercial? The producers really need to plan better.

OK, that'll do for section 1. On to section 2!!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

ACM Awards - Hour 3

We are starting hour #3 off with Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw. Kenny looks tinier every time I see him. Is he manorexic? Also, be proud of being bald, our hats look dumb. Is it in their contracts that all performers tonight have to wear pants tight enough to cause blood flow problems? Taylor, don't dance in your seat, there are cameras around, bless her heart. Eh, ok song. Now, another bane of my existence, Ashton Kutcher. Ashton, no, please don't. YOU DON'T SING GEORGE STRAIT! Someone go up and punch him right now. Miranda wins female vocalist. That's good, she sings better than Taylor.

Here's Blake introducing his wife Miranda. Good song, but I don't think the dress goes with the song for some reason. I think it grew moss or something. Oh look, it's Miley's boyfriend at the ACM's introducing Zac Brown Band with Brad Paisley. This oughta be good! Brad in the Zac Brown hat is GREAT haha. He's one heck of a guitar player. Bono is on tape from Ireland introducing Dierks Bentley. I like how all the people doing introductions say "My friend so&so." Are they all friends? Are all celebrities friends? Anyway, Dierks is a very underrated singer/songwriter. This is a great patriotic song that goes beyond party lines. Good.

Oh, a wedding at the ACMs. I'm sure there is some sort of sadness. Yes, two widowed people. You will either cry or gag on the sickeningly sweet nature of it all haha. The guy from Train is now singing with Martina McBride. Why are they getting married WHILE they are singing? That's odd. I'm just glad Train guy isn't singing Hey Soul Sister. Why can't they just have Martina sing a Martina song? Now Thompson Square, duo of the year winners, nope, not Sugarland. I still say they should combine duo & group. Nice subtle product placement by Dodge in the recap of the country experience this past week.

Now Luke Bryan is performing with some green lasers that look like they were stolen from the brilliant 1985 movie Real Genius with Val Kilmer. When did country stars switch from cowboy hats to caps? Why is this guy prancing and jumping like Shania Twain? Finally, if you want the audience to sing along, be sure they are singing loud enough to be heard. It's an ok performance, nothing wrong with it. Here's Taylor to present the male vocalist award. I wish she was singer her Hunger Games song. That's a good song. Blake Shelton wins Male Vocalist so he and his wife sweep again.

Now, it's the end of the show. Entertainer of the Year is being presented by Lionel Richie. Not a country star, but has a new CD called Tuskegee (where he's from) where he sings with country stars. Plus, he recorded Deep River Woman with Alabama years ago, so he's no stranger to country. The winner is Taylor Swift. I'm giving my surprised face. Who are all those people who came up to her? It looked like she just joined a Baptist church. Now, a performance with Lionel Richie and Blake Shelton. I hope it's better than Dancing on the Ceiling which Lionel did with Rascal Flatts at the CMAs. You Are! I love this song.

Overall, not a bad show. I think it was better than the CMAs, mainly because it was on CBS :) Hope you enjoyed the blogs. I watched so you didn't have to. Good night everyone. Now I have to wait til midnight to watch Mad Men. The sacrifices I make for y'all!

ACM Awards - Hour 2

Starting off hour 2 with Jason Aldean, another husky fella. This is a good song bu he needs to take the Red Man out of his mouth or enunciate better. Vocal group is being presented by country superstars KISS. I don't get it either. Crap it's lady a :-( I'm so over them. I wanted to be anyone but them or Rascal Flatts. Next a performance from Bradley Gilbert, new artist nominee. He has leather, tats, fire, and motorcycles. Maybe he shoulda been on with KISS. I'm guessing he's a "bad boy". Now Eric Church playing a keyboard with a guitar strapped to his back. And sunglasses too, really? This song is called Springsteen, I have a feeling it won't be a good tribute to The Boss. I'm surprised more of my Frieda aren't Bruce fans. So sad. But the picture of Eric Church behind Eric Church makes him look like a redneck Che Guevara.

Now Jake Owen and LeAnn Rimes are presenting record of the year. What is LeAnn wearing? No, it's not another woman's husband. Jason and Kelly win!! I love Kelly!! She's a real sized girl with a huge voice. She's my favorite American Idol. And now to annoy me (but hopefully not) here's Lady Antebellum. Pleasant song but still too bland middle of the road. And the light haired guy needs to go up a size or two in jeans. Steve Martin with Rascal Flatts? Did he lose a bet? Poor Steve. Another poor Steve, Steve Jobs. Ashton Kutcher will play him in a movie. He gives us the iPod and iPhone and iTunes and he gets Ashton playing him? That's just a shame.

Scotty McCreary is up now. Apparently he won idol. Generic small town country song. Did they shrink him? He's tiny. As my former campus minister, the right reverend Ronnie Brewer, noted, it's good they let Alfred E. Neuman off from Mad magazine to just do that song. Glad he's done because its time for Brad Paisley! But what's with the baptist youth minister goatee? They need to turn up his microphone. This camo song is kinda fun though. New artist of the year goes to Scotty McCreary. A big win for Mad magazine!

A remembrance of the late great Earl Scruggs. Now my nemesis Gary LeVox and Rascal Flatts with my comedy hero Steve Martin. Can someone get Gary some sudafed? Steve looks annoyed. By the way I don't like them in case you couldn't figure that out. Now Toby Keith is singing Red Solo Cup. Is he drunk? Carrot Top? Really? I guess Reba isn't the only red head with plastic surgery on camera tonight. Hers is better. Haha this was goody fun for some reason lol. He's a goofball. Saw him on Chelsea Lately this week. Despite the 9/11 song, he's not a Conservative. Who knew. Ladies and gentlemen, it's SKELETOR! Oh wait, it's one of the many guys Jennifer Lopez married. He's introducing Alabama royalty, it's Mrs. Jay Barker singing the old Rod Stewart song My Heart Can't Tell You No. I've always liked her. She looks like a country Kate Beckinsale. Good job Sara and ROLL TIDE!!

Now on to hour 3!

ACM Awards - Hour 1

I'm back blogging again. Missed the oscars sadly. Let's start with Carrie Underwood singing like she needs a pole. This sounds more Pat Benatar than Patsy Cline and I don't like. Plus she sounds like she's forcing it. This is the absolute I've heard her sound. Plus her dress looks like a tacky lampshade.

Here are your hosts, Reba and Blake Shelton. That's how they said it. Is Reba like Cher now and has no last name? Ooh a Randy Travis DUI joke from Blake? Reba made a mullet joke, Blake made an old joke. Really, no plastic surgery joke? The Tebow and Taylor jokes were funny. Taylor looked like she wanted to flip Blake off. #TeamBlake. KISS is there? Why? They wear less makeup than Reba.

Chris Young is up with Save Water Drink beer. Wow he looks my size, maybe he should switch to lite beer. Generic country drinking rocking song. And now to Sugarland over at Mandalay Bay (because when I think country, I think Vegas!) Here's Zac Brown Band. But Zac, with that hat and beard you look somewhere between homeless and Zach Galifianakis. But I don't think I've heard a song from them I don't like. The Band Perry now, I like them too but it looks like the girl Perry wants to do the Angelina leg pose. And the hair on the boys Perry still reminds me of women in the early 1980s. I hate that girl Perry couldn't find her dress and had to go out in her slip. Bless her heart.

Another country superstar, LL Cool J, comes out in his trademark hat to give a shout out to the military and to introduce Keith Urban singing his song from Act of Valor. Good song and Keith's hair is perfectly feathered, as always. Half an hour into the show, the first award, song of the year presented by 2 Broke Girls Beth Behrs. I love that show :-) The winner is Crazy Girl by Eli Young Band. I'm behind on country so are they good? Just glad it wasn't lady a. Gotta love a group taking a cell phone pic from stage.

Now Blake is singing. He is doing a more low key Conway Twitty or TG Sheppard type song. Good job. Album of the year goes to Miranda Lambert. Glad it wasn't lady a :-) Now some 14 year old named Hunter Hayes who makes Bieber look old enough to buy beer. But he ain't half bad. Now Little Big Town singing Imagine (love them) acapella to start an combining it with a song from the kid, the children's choir is just a tad too much.

On to hour 2!!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Grammy Awards Hour #3

Really Grammys, you start off hour 3 with Gwyneth? Haven't I suffered enough with my back? Why do you hate me? Thankfully, I get to hear Adele now. GET OFF MY SCREEN GWYNETH! Adele looks fabulous and sounds great.  That was just amazing! See, you don't have to autotune, lip sync, slut it up, etc. You just have to write a great song and sing the heck out of it. I wanted her to go into Rumour Has It right after that, like she does on the album.

After the CMA tribute, here is a Grammy tribute to Glen Campbell. He lived a hard life (especially with Tanya Tucker), but was a heck of a country artist. The Band Perry sounds great on Gentle on My Mind. Southern Nights is PERFECT for Blake Shelton. And here is the man himself singing Rhinestone Cowboy. He sounds great and is enjoying himself. God bless him in his battle with Alzheimer's. That's right, Sir Paul McCartney was singing along to Glen Campbell and loving it. And the crazy couple next to them was dancing like the drunk couple at Logan's. And two chicks sitting there texting instead of giving Glen Campbell a well deserved standing ovation.

Oh goodie, Carrie. She's pretty, she sings well, but I just can't get into her. Now best new artist. I'm rooting for Nicki, or maybe Band Perry, but it'll be Bon Iver. It's Bon Iver. I listened to one or 2 of their songs, can't get into them.

Boring Academy president time. Academy is great and helping musicians. That's nice. But dude, the slow music isn't helping, you're losing them. But now, those who died this year. Thankfully, it seems they killed the audio in the audience, or turned it down enough you couldn't tell as much. I hate the popularity contest that ensues to see who got the loudest applause. That's sick. Here is Jennifer Hudson singing I Will Always Love You. She's good, but not Whitney, nobody is. Good low key performance, didn't oversing. Classy.

WTH, Elisabeth Shue on CSI? Well, she is a quick thinker, especially in Chicago while babysitting. However, her last stint in Las Vegas was as a prostitute with a suicidal alcoholic Nicolas Cage. Hopefully she's in better shape now.

Now a dance music tribute. But he's not a big enough or cool enough star to sing twice, plus, I wasn't feeling that performance. Foo Fighters are big enough and cool enough. Foo & Deadmau5 is actually pretty cool. He looks like Mickey's rave going cousin. Overall, I didn't like that. What the smurf was the Vegas/Bohemian Rhapsody commercial?

Ah, Nicki Minaj. I'm hoping she brings the crazy tonight. She's all about spectacle, and it looks like she brought tons tonight. Religious symbolism in performances always goes over well. I think even Lady Gaga is confused.

Now, Lady Antebellum is out here to give their award from last year to Eminem & Rihanna or Jay & Alicia. Or, they will keep it and present this year's award I guess. Oh well. The Record of the Year is ROLLIN' IN THE DEEP!!! WooHoo! It may seem boring to some, but I heart her totally & completely so get over it.

DIANA ROSS!! Just not the same without her being on the MTV Awards wondering why Lil Kim was just half dressed. And now her coronation is complete. 6 nominations, 6 wins, all deserved. I remember when I first downloaded and listened to 21. I knew it was brilliant. I listened to it on the way to Atlanta. She's finally overcome with emotion. I'm so happy for her. If you don't have this CD, please get it. It's brilliant. She just called out her snot. AWESOME!!

Now, LL's 'homie' Sir Macca is singing again. Personally, I would have rather seen Adele again. But he is a legend. But this isn't a Beatles song I know. They said this was a life changing finale, but it seems anti-climactic. But the fat guy on the drums is great. Oh, famous guitarists, they are good, but long guitar solos aren't really my thing.

OK, so that was the Grammys. We'll see if I do it for the Oscars. Remember, just because I work for a CBS station doesn't mean I have any control over Nicki Minaj's performance so don't condemn me to hell. Thanks and good night.

Grammy Awards Hour #2

Let's see how Rihanna & Coldplay do together. This is gonna be brilliant or a hot mess. I don't think I've hear RiRi sound better than in that open for We Found Love, although after the piano only open, was she lip synching a bit? And is she wearing a Shakira wig? I was a little underwhelmed by the Rihanna/Chris Martin duet section. But I do love Paradise by Coldplay, although they did it better on SNL.

I think 90% of the awards are given out in the pre-show. So, not many awards, mostly performances. The NY Giants don't seem very comfortable here. How is The Cave a rock performance though? That is something I don't get. Doesn't matter, Foo Fighters win for Walk. AWESOME!! Now some 12 year old named Seacrest is introducing the tribute to one of my all time favorite bands, THE BEACH BOYS!! Glad to hear Maroon 5 sing something that doesn't make my ears want to cry, although they are coming across like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future when he had to play at the Enchantment Under the Sea. Now, the much cooler Foster the People singing one of my fave songs Wouldn't It Be Nice. They could star in a Beach Boys movie. Now, bring out the real ones. GET OFF MY SCREEN SEACREST! 50th anniversary? After that long though, you shouldn't really call yourself boys anymore, should ya? But dang they sound good! BEACH BOYS FTW!!!

My latest tweet: Dear drinkers, don't play a drinking game where you take a shot every time Taylor Swift misses a note. You'll DIE!

STEVIE!! introducing PAUL MCCARTNEY!! I like Paul, but it's odd to hear him in the crooner role. I do like him doing it better than Rod Stewart because of the arrangement of the song. R&B album to Chris Brown. Great line from the guy in Civil Wars about everyone else being their opening act. Now, here comes Taylor singing. If they give her a Grammy after this, watch for the patented Taylor Swift Surprise Face (TM) (C). Look, she's still country, she has a banjo! Where'd she get that dress? Did she stop at an Amish Barn Sale (they wouldn't have a garage now would they?). Taylor Yoder everyone! But this is probably the least off key she's been. Good for you TayTay. My friend Ms. Stephanie Pendergrass probably loved the McDonald's commercial with the old men. She loves old people, but doesn't love TayTay.

Song of the year time now! Apparently, it takes a village to write a song, for some of these at least. ROLLING IN THE DEEP!! WooHoo!! It feels like an Adele sort of night. I love Adele, BUT SPIT OUT YOUR GUM! Poor Kate Beckinsale, apparently her dress was stolen so she had to make one out of the hotel sheet. That's resourcefulness.

Now Katy Perry, with one of my less favorite songs ET. And now a new song. And either the pain medicine for my back is really strong or Katy Perry is trying to out-Gaga Gaga. Is this song about Russell Brand?

Best country album goes to Lady Antebellum, ugh, no TayTay Surprise Face. Boring middle of the road bland songs win. Sorry, they started to get on my nerves.

Grammy Awards Hour #1

Starting off with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (RIP Clarence Clemons) is always a good thing. After all these years, he still has it. I like that he went with the understated gold hoop earrings for the Grammys. Good song "Wherever this flag's flown, we take care of our own!"

It is good to see some Grammy fashions: Fergie in something that got caught in a shredder, Gaga wearing a hair net on her face, Adele looks fantastic. Here comes host LL Cool J (in beret, as always), but somber in honor of Whitney Houston. He started off with a prayer, very kind and sweet to see so many in the audience bowing their heads in reverence. Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert are sitting next to Gaga, and TayTay is next to Cardinal Nicki Minaj. I think that is quite awesome. Now they are showing Whitney performing I Will Always Love You at the Grammys. Dang, that woman could sing and sell a song!

Starting off with one of my faves, BRUNO MARS!! I love his CD "Doo-Wops & Hooligans" I love his throwback vibe but still modern. Runaway Baby is one of my faves off the CDs. He did matching suits and choreography with his band seem ok and Vegas cool and not Jonas/NSync cheesy. He told everyone to get off their Rich, um, Butts and get up and dance. I love it. Yes, friends make fun of me for being a fan of his. Guess what, I don't care. He just did a James Brown split.

Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt pay tribute to Etta James by singing Sunday Kind of Love. Alicia is bringing it while wearing Wonder Woman's bulletproof bracelets around her neck and Bruno Mars' hair on her head. Bonnie still has that great blues voice. And best Pop Solo Performance goes to ADELE for Someone Like You, the best and saddest song of 2011. But, Adele, please spit out your gum. Now, time to go to the kitchen for my supper.

Jay & Ye win for Rap. Now, singing Don't You Wanna Stay, Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson. She blew him away (even though he did well, she's just that awesome) when they did it at the (I think) ACMs. Can he keep up? Kelly looks great, sounds a little hoarse, but still great. Looks like she's having a great time. Good for Aldean. Kelly is still my favorite Idol. A commercial just used the French song Alouette. That is the only song I can still play on piano haha


Jack Black, get funny again, but until then, go away. But, FOO FIGHTERS!! And they are playing Walk, one of my favorite songs from 2011. Heck to the YEAH! for this performance.

Well, that's hour one for ya. Let's get ready for hour 2!!