CMA Awards - Hour 1

Welcome to Nashville, by way of Tuscaloosa. The always twitter funny Blake Shelton starts off with his remake of Footloose. The set and dancers are cheesy and not country. It looks like a kids construction set. Blake even looks a bit uncomfortable. Kenny Loggins then comes out to sing a bit with him. Kenny doesn't look good. Kinda looks like Weekend at Bernie's. Reese Witherspoon is there. Reba looks like she smuggled in a few friends too. 

The always funny Brad Paisley and Judy Jetson are hosting. Oh wait, that's the boring (to me) Carrie Underwood and they start with a Hank Williams, Jr joke and Bocephus comes out. He should be glad he was kicked off football, people weren't talking about him until then. Seriously Carrie, what are you wearing? Poor Faith Hill, apparently she got caught in a wind storm on the way to the show. 

The first presenter is the guy from Modern Family. And single of the year goes to If I Die Young by The Band Perry. Pretty song, depressing as heck, but nice. And those guys need haircuts, and apparently she eloped because she came in her wedding dress. That's dedication!

Now up, Keith Urban. He's the first victim of bad sound mixing. It sounds like his singing is backing up the guitars. He's also the victim of white people clapping out of rhythm. It's a sad epidemic at the CMAs. Is that Kim K's ex in the crowd? No wife, no job (NBA lockout) country music is right for him. Now the crown princess of Alabama football, the lovely Sara Evans. She's surrounded by chicks doing splits while suspended from fabric. Is it me or is that fabric crimson? Nice touch Mrs. Barker! She sounded great. Rascall Flatts is singing with Natasha Bettingfield? Did she lose a bet?

Good thing Will Jester doesn't make a drinking game of taking a shot every time Carrie changes clothes. He would have been passed out before Miranda Lambert came on to perform. (you're welcome Will). She's a bad chick, but I think she's wearing a WWE championship belt. Cool, she's got fire! She's not a dainty girl, awesome. Now my daddy's favorite singer Kellie Pickler and someone from Twilight, which he's never heard of. And the winner is If I Die Young. That one guy's hair is still freaking me out. Poor Carrie, something got caught on the side of her dress. Now Zac Brown Band with a tribute to Georgia, the state not the mediocre football team. Gregg Allmann is looking like Willie Nelson without, um, herbs. The whole effect of this version of Georgia on My mind is like a lazy river version of a New Orleans jam band. That is a compliment. But Zac, lose the Ashton Kutcher dbag hat. 

Rascall Flatts, not a fan, can they convert me? Lead singer still looks like Food Network's Guy Fieri. Natasha Bettingfield sounds good but looks to be wearing a bathroom rug. Song is ok but a bit overdone. Vocal duo of the year goes to Sugarland. Why don't they just combine it with group? But I do lik Sugarland :) Now newbies, Eric Church is first. A bit cliched but he brought good fun and energy. Thompson Square is on now. Are they singing in front of an old manger set? Decent song. Now Chris someone is singing. He's got the country trifecta: mama, church, and beer.