Grammy Awards - Hour #1

Alright alright alright, it's awards show time. Let's get right into it. Apparently the opening number is being done by the illegitimate daughter of the Mad Hatter & the White Queen and directed by Tim Burton on absinthe. Remember when she was a simple country singer? Now, all this over the top theatricality is just too much and annoying.

LL Cool J is once again hosting, once again in that same hat. I hope it's not the SAME hat he wears over & over and that it's a different one and that he washes it. That'd be a whole lot of head sweat. After that over produced monstrosity to open the show, now we have Ed Sheeran singing his simple song about a fallen woman (drug addicted prostitute actually) but singing it with Elton John. Elton is great but his style is so different than Ed's that it sounds a bit odd, but worked better when they harmonized. Would have liked to have seen Ed alone though.

Now here are Pitbull and Jennifer Lopez. Thankfully, neither is performing. Apparently, Jennifer Lopez's curtains got caught in the vacuum and she made them into a dress. That's resourcefulness right there. Now here's the Grammy for best solo pop performance. Adele wins for the live version of Set Fire to the Rain. An AMAZING song. Who was the guy that was up there first though? 

Now, here's fun. and it's fun. with a period at the end and not capitalized. I have a friend who hates them. I like them. This is a new song to me, slower than the others. I like the lead singer's voice a lot. His hair is stupid. Even when I had hair, mine only looked like that when I first woke up and when I needed a haircut. He's wearing Mary Tyler Moore's pants from the Dick Van Dyke. Capris are only a good look on 16 year old girls in 50s movies. And apparently, they just made it rain.

John Mayer looks a little less creepy tonight. BONNIE RAITT! Love her. Now Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bentley singing, hopefully a little more pep in their step. My friend Bill is getting bored with all these slow songs. But look, a pink microphone to distract from the slow song. Not peppy, but good. At least JLo & Pitbull didn't perform. Remember that.

Old Bandstand clip of LL Cool J shows he's been licking his lips a long time. In fact LL in his name stands for Lip Licking. Now Wiz Khalifa and Miguel are performing. Then present country solo performance. When I think country, I think Wiz. Sadly, Carrie Underwood won. Ugh, she annoys me. I've never been able to detect a personality with her. But Wiz & Miguel did a good job. Got Rihanna up on her feet even though nobody else was. She's that girl at the concert who stands when nobody else does. Hate it for those behind her.

Now, song of the year presented by former King & Queen of Country Tim McGraw & Faith Hill. Faith looks better than she has in a while. She's proudly sporting her braces. Song of the year goes to fun. for We Are Young. Cool song, and one of them is dating Lena Dunham from Girls. And according to Jay-Z & Solange Knowles, it looks like they serve booze at the seats. Look, they found some orange colored bum to pretend he's Johnny Depp. Oh wait, that IS Johnny Depp? Yikes! Ugh! But Mumford & Sons are so far rocking the hardest of anyone so far tonight. Tough for a folky band with a banjo. Taylor Swift is singing along. See Taylor, this is what people who have good voices sound like. Ouch, I'm sorry.

OK, that's it for hour #1, let's rev up for hour #2!!