Oscars Hour #2

Oscars hour #2 starts with Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain presenting Best Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to Amour, a story about an elderly couple facing old age and death. Yeah, it's a laugh riot y'all! This director also made the movie Funny Games, the original and American remake about a group of young kids who do a home invasion on this family and torture them. Yes, another laugh riot! Now, John Travolta is here for some reason. Oh wow that is one AWFUL wig he's wearing. He's introducing the tribute to movie musicals. Apparently it's gonna have a lot of Les Mis. True, I'm miserables about it. Thankfully, the Zeta is kicking it off with All That Jazz. She's still got it! Next Jennifer Hudson is singing the song that got her the Oscar. I'm glad she's just singing because girl can't act. I don't even believe her on those Weight Watcher commercials where she says she lost all that weight. I think she sang this song better when she was heavier. I didn't hate Les Mis, I just saw a lot of problems with it. Anne Hathaway was great though. I guess Les Mis gets all this extra attention because it is easier to showcase a musical. But I didn't like this song. The girl playing Eponine has a very tiny waist. I think looking hungry should just have been for the movie. Eat a sandwich girl. I like musicals but that was not good at all. But it was staged better at the Oscars than in the movie. The directing of that movie was hideous. And all the close ups. I wanted to wipe Anne's nose when she was slinging snot & crying. Gross. But to be honest, I didn't like the director's work on The King's Speech either, so, there ya go.

Now, Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana, aka Kirk and Uhura. Glad she's not promoting a sequel to Avatar. I hated Avatar. Now, Mark Wahlberg and Ted are presenting best Sound Mixing. It's one of 2 sound awards. One is for overall sound the other is for sound effects. Got it? Good. Les Mis wins. Bummer :( I guess it's because they did sing live and that was tough to do. Oh Ted, you are so crazy! Now, a tie!! First winner is Zero Dark Thirty. This is won by some guy who looks like he drives a van with no back windows. And the second Oscar goes to Skyfall. This is the 3rd guy with creepy long hair who has won tonight. Apparently, they need a Head Start or Sports Clips or Gayfer's salon out in Hollywood. Great Sound of Music joke right there actually. THEY'RE GONE! Now Christopher Plummer, aka Mr. Von Trapp, is here to present Best Supporting Actress. Many think Anne Hathaway will and should win, but her speeches have been a bit, well, full of herself. You played pretend and sang, you didn't cure diseases. And the Oscar goes to Anne Hathaway. Best supporting dress & undergarment doesn't go to Anne though. Ooh, girls with snacks. Do you really think people in Hollywood eat though? Bless your hearts.

Oh good, the Academy president is speaking. Nobody cares, it just means more time for bathroom and snacks. Blah blah blah, bring back the pretty people. Yeah, Sandra Bullock. Is that a bedazzled hearing aid? Oh wait, just some hair clip. Did she just say hamhock? Yes, yes, she did. Now, the award for film editing goes to Argo, it's first award of the night. YEA!!! Now, it's Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire introducing my girl Adele singing Skyfall. YES!!! She is a goddess.

OK, that's a good stopping point. Let's move on to hour #3, shall we?