The CMA Awards - Part 4 Y'all!!!!

Now, the final hour starts off with Carrie Underwood in outfit #50 singing. Hey as long it keeps her from wearing a nun's outfit or Austrian nanny outfit and singing My Favorite Things, I'm happy. Yes, we get it, you can sing loud, so can I. No, I'm not a fan in case you couldn't tell haha. After Dierks got drunk on the plane I guess they needed to Carrie to church it up.

I have no clue who Lucy Hale is or this duo presenting with her. I'm sure they're big with the teen set. They are presenting vocal group of the year and the CMA Award for Vocal Group of the Year goes to Little Big Town. I'm happy for them, but they still haven't done anything better than Boondocks. I still love that dang song. I still think it's cruel when the camera cuts to the losers while the winner is on stage. I kinda want the losers to look all pissed & stuff.

Now, Luke Bryan is performing a song about a roller coaster, hence the big honkin' roller coaster on stage with him. He looks like he likes to dance & perform and he's trying to be restrained and it's tough for him.

Here to sing about smoking and drinking is Miranda Lambert and Little Big Town. That's the actual introduction to this song, and I think the song's title too haha. The most entertaining song about the 2 I've heard. A good song for bad vices? haha. Aww guitar player is a wearing a tshirt with the Farrah Fawcett poster on it. RIP Farrah. She was great in this TV miniseries called  Small Sacrifices where she killed her kids. She was scary!

Brad & Carrie are now singing "When I Call Your Name" by Vince Gill. One of the best sad country songs EVER! Vince is sitting in front of song girl with a flower headband or something. Distracting. They now are going through Vince's career. Hey look Taylor did make an appearance on the awards show tonight. Aww, Vince is getting choked up seeing all these legends saluting him. Vince is one of my favorite artists of all time. He always sneaks in a bit of a dirty joke too haha. Wait, the Doobie Brothers on the CMAs?

Now George Strait is performing with Dale Gribble from King of the Hill, I mean Eric Close. George Strait can do no wrong. Why does Eric Church wear sunglasses? You're inside. Do you have glaucoma like Bono? Trying to be cool like Corey Hart and wear your sunglasses at night? Now my girl Trisha Yearwood (great singer AND cooking show host!) is presenting male vocalist of the year. I'd love Dierks or Keith to win it but of course Blake wins it. I wish Trisha would have sung tonight. I wanna hear her new song! But I love the Earl Thomas Conley shout out. Loved ETC in the 80s. Then some newbie sang for a minute and looked like he was at a high school party.

Now The Doobie Brothers (yes) with Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland, Hilary Scott from Lady Antebellum, Hunter Hayes from "Hey I'm not the country Bieber" and Michael McDonald. So whoa listen to the music because the mics aren't up loud enough to sing over them. Is the lady sitting with Brad Paisley's wife wearing ribbon candy as a dress? Even Nicole is almost able to show emotion. This is more country than All About That Bass and Ariana.

To present female vocalist, some supermodel and some guy I've never heard of and the winner is Miranda Lambert. My aunt texted me "What kind of nasty dress does that girl have on?" haha I replied there wasn't enough of it to be a dress LOL. Yet another husband/wife split. Now, a commercial, then Garth, the ultimate entertainer, presents entertainer of the year. Then I can watch American Horror Story!

Here are the nominees: Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, George Strait, Keith Urban. Who wins? Luke Bryan. Aww, the first thing he said is "I've never met Garth. Hey Garth. Can I hug you again?" haha. Now, he's ready to party. And I'm ready ready to watch some spoiled rich kid to be a homicidal clown. While I watch that, I'll leave you with Michael McDonald Takin' It To the Streets. Hope y'all had fun.

Later y'all!

The CMA Awards - Part 3 Y'all!!!

Now Tim McGraw is performing a song called Shotgun Rider (I think that's what Brad said?) First off, fella needs a sandwich (pronounced sammich). He's got a real life steel guitar player y'all! What do y'all think of the band all in white jackets? Not a bad song, but why bring out the guitar if you are just gonna sling it over your back? I can "play" guitar like that too. You ain't special.

Now vocal duo, which will go to Florida Georgia Auto-Tune, I mean Florida-Georgia Line, sorry. But that one guy presenting is tall, the girl looks like the country version of Lorde and then there's the third guy. Now some random guy is on a stage singing. According to the graphic it's Cole Swindell and according to my eyes he's lost his upper lip somewhere along the way. Just odd they didn't give him a real introduction. But a Wikipedia search confirmed my suspicions from the GS on his hat that he went to Georgia Southern. Just a bit of trivia for ya.

Carrie Underwood in outfit #27 introducing Dierks Bentley singing Drunk On a Plane (apparently he got his pilot's license this year, how scary is that). Another guitar slung across his back, but he actually brings it out and plays it. Not my favorite Dierks song but you have to drink a lot in a country song or it's not country. Hey sound mixers, can't y'all turn the instruments down, can't hear Dierks. Or are you drunk on TV?

Now, Martina McBride and Coach Taylor's wife, I mean Connie Britton. Sorry, I'm a Friday Night Lights fan forever. Clear eyes, full hearts, CAN'T LOSE! Now album of the year goes to Miranda Lambert which I thought it would. She looks like Baby Spice now.

WooHoo, Hunger Games commercial. I can't wait! I need to re-read the books at some point. I read them all quickly back around the time I had back surgery.

Now, Carrie Underwood in outfit #39 of the night introducing her co-host Brad Paisley. Can't help but like the guy, but the weird swaying mosh pit in front of him is kinda creepy. Man, he can play that guitar! Now Blake Shelton is singing. I remember when he had a mullet and sang Austin. Oh how times change. Is he singing with Luna Lovegood from Hogwarts? (Yes, a Harry Potter joke y'all!) He looks uncomfortable dancing/moving lol.

On to part 4, the Final Chapter!

The CMA Awards - Part 2 Y'all!!

Brad Paisley kicks off this segment saying that ABC's hit freshman comedy black-ish is not what folks are watching, but to stay tuned and enjoy white-ish. Haha, it's funny because it's true. Now, Keith Urban is performing. He can play a mean guitar and always gives his all. But seriously, the same hair still? Who are you, Rod Stewart? It looks like the hairdo just past Soccer Mom #12. Nicole is there and she doesn't look like an alien robot. Congrats!

Now Darius Rucker (who will always be Hootie to me) and Tim Tebow (who will always be that guy Bama and Ole Miss made cry after beating them) present song of the year to Kacey Musgraves for Follow Your Arrow, YES!!!  Very happy about that. I love that song, and nothing about mud ridin in a pickup with a 6 pack. I'm sure the song is a bit controversial with some of the lyrics, but it's great.

Now The Band Perry singing Glen Campbell's Gentle On My Mind. God Bless Glen. He lived a rough tough life and now is fighting due to Alzheimer's. He has a documentary and new song (which is a heartbreaking song). I swear that one Boy Perry looks ready to join a Flock of Seagulls tribute band or something. Wow, this performance is GREAT! The Girl Perry is a sassy one ain't she?

Medicine commercials get scarier and scarier all the time. I'm waiting for them to just say "Either your disease will kill you or this medicine will. TAKE YOUR PICK!" I'm proud to say I take one of those tv commercial medicines. It helps me function.

Now Kacey Musgraves is performing on an old fashioned Grand Ole Opry set with an old fashioned hairdo singing Loretta Lynn's classic "If You're Lookin' At Me, You're Lookin' At Country", although her dress is shorter than Miss Loretta's. Then who comes out but LORETTA LYNN!! Full ballgown as usual, to sing along. She's 82 and still looks and sounds great!

Now, 2 guys they found at the bar at the local Chili's are out to present new artist of the year. Seriously guys, dress up or something, the new artist winner, Brett Eldredge is wearing a flipping tux.

Now Jason Aldean is performing on his "I'm sorry I cheated on my wife with an American Idol loser got caught tried to make it work but she wouldn't have me so now I'm engaged to that girl" tour. That's heck trying to fit on a t-shirt. Not that I'm judging. To me, he still hasn't surpassed his work on his duet with Kelly Clarkson. But I respect him because he's not some skinny guy. He looks like he wore husky sized pants when he was a kid. But the fake rips in the jeans he's wearing now makes him look like a scarecrow. If he only had a brain.

Carrie Underwood is out in outfit number 12 and Brad Paisley is out with a great idea. He's got a Sam's size container of cheese balls in a baby carrier strapped to him. I LIKE IT!! Now I want some! Now Little Big Town is performing in outfits with HEAVY red outlining. Creepy. They are singing their hit "Day Drinking" or as some people I know would call it "Alcoholism" or "A Cry For Help". I'll stick with day ice creaming. Now I want Ice Cream! Oh the read is now white. Those are lights y'all! Fancy. Now Ariana is singing her part of Bang Bang. Why, seriously, why? That went from zero to hot mess in less than 5 seconds. A new land speed record!

OK, I say part 2 is DONE!

The CMA Awards - Part 1 Y'all!

It's been a minute since I've blogged an awards show. Well, 7 months actually. I blogged the ACM Awards, now, I've eaten, got my dishwasher running, clothes ready for tomorrow, American Horror Story set to tape (yes, I know it's a DVR, but I'm old and I still tape shows, leave me alone and get off my lawn) and I'm ready to watch the CMAs.

They are starting off the show with Kenny Chesney doing some speak/singing thing. It's got a banjo so it SOUND country. But it looks about as country as a Yankees game. It's got hipster dressed guys and girls dancing around a psychadelic-ish painted bus. I have expected the Partridge Family to get off it was so colorful. Now, keeping in the theme of real country, Miranda Lambert is singing with Meghan Trainor on her hit "All About That Bass". I do like that song, but I'm waiting for the real country to start. Half a fiddle in it don't make it country. Tim McGraw looked mighty confused. George Strait was laughing, but in my mind, he was thinking "What is this y'all?".

Now, Brad & Carrie. How many pregnancy jokes will we get? They start off honoring the now retired but still nominated George Strait. Now, pregnancy joke #1. Ooh, an Ebola joke song called Quarantine set to Dolly's Jolene. Ooh, political jokes. Easy crowd to do this with. Carrie is much less wooden than she was last year when she was on the CMAs and The Sound of Music (bless her heart on that one). Ooh, a Renee Zellweger joke.

For the first award of the evening, let's hear it for country icon...Steven Tyler? What? Um, ok. Also, forget what happened to Renee, what has happened to Steven Tyler over the years? The winner for single of the year goes to Miranda Lambert for Automatic. I do like that song though so it's ok. But I think something happened to part of her dress. Looks odd. Wait, Ariana Grande is there too? Why are they trying to take the country out of my country?

Now Lady Antebellum are on stage singing about revenge drunking with Hey Bartender. Hey look the Swiss Miss girl is playing guitar for them. Seriously dude, NOBODY is wearing 2 long braided ponytails anymore. He's so 2013 or probably 1913. It was a rock song with a banjo but still catchier than it had a right to be.

Now, Florida Georgia Line is performing. I'm interested to hear what they sound like without all the autotune. This is actually the most country I've heard them sound. I still don't know which one is Florida and which one is Georgia. I know one is sleeveless and tatted and one is in his finest Hank Williams knock-off shirt.

Well that's enough to get everyone started. I'm looking forward to The Band Perry singing Gentle On My Mind. I'm interested to hear Ariana Grande slur her way through some song. Seriously girl ENUNCIATE! More soon!