Hey y'all, it's the Oscars - Part 1!

And it's only a day late! I was watching with friends last night so it would have been rude and tacky to ignore them and type away. I'm way too southern to be rude and tacky. Thankfully I'm southern enough to be mean about some of this stuff. Critical, I mean critical, mean is such a rude and tacky word. Fun opening number, wonderful when Anna Kendrick comes out. She has such a great voice and was wonderful in Into the Woods and in the new movie (mostly available On Demand) The Last Five Years. The production number is fun and a nod to past shows, but not tacky. But why is Jack Black there? When did he last have a hit movie? Although he was awesome in Bernie, directed by Richard Linklater who wrote & directed Boyhood (brilliant), so SYNERGY!

I'm proud that I've seen all of the best picture nominees, and all but 4 acting nominees and all but 3 screenplay nominees. Not too shabby. But it just means I have no life I think haha. The wonderful & lovely Lupita Nyong'o who deservedly won last year for 12 Years a Slave. Some great perfornaces, but the award rightly went to J.K. Simmons from Whiplash. I'll always think of him as Dr. Emil Skoda from Law & Order: Original Recipe. He was scary and amazing as the meanest teacher ever in Whiplash. See it if you get the chance! Love how ABC had Kerry Washington in the shot with Simmons' wife. Maybe they want Scandal watchers to forget how awful this season has been. Nice Farmers Insurance joke from NPH about JKS.

Neil's bit about his predictions and about Octavia Spencer watching them? Yeah, not really all that funny. At least Octavia was there with one of the young co-stars of Red Band Society, a show she was in this season that flopped, but wasn't too bad. Now, Liam Neeson is up to present the first few nominees for Best Picture. Liam, glad you made a ton of money off Taken, but start acting again. Stretch your talents! He introduces The Grand Budapest Hotel, a hilariously weird movie about a hotel concierge back before WWII done by Wes Anderson who I usually hate, but I loved this one. Then American Sniper, a solid movie about a Navy SEAL sniper who has trouble reconciling his war life with his home life. Bradley Cooper did a great job, especially with the accent.

Now, Don Johnson & Melanie Griffith's daughter, Dakota Johnson, from that dirty movie out, is here to introduce Maroon 5 singing Lost Stars from the movie Begin Again. I liked that movie, Begin Again not the dirty one. The movie arrangement was better. Trivia, this song was co-written by Gregg Alexander from 90s One Hit Wonder New Radicals (You Only Get What You Give) and former All In the Family child star Danielle Brisebois (Edith's niece Stephanie).

Now Captain Kirk and Jennifer Lopez's cleavage present costume design to The Grand Budapest Hotel. I thought it'd be Maleficient because the love fantasy. Plus, it would have been fun to cut to a shot of Jennifer Aniston if Angelina's movie won. Bahaha. But seriously, when did JLo last have a good movie or hit movie? Why is she there? She hasn't been Oscar worthy in over 15 years. Next, the wonderful Reese Witherspoon presents makeup & hairstyling to The Grand Budapest Hotel, but it should have gone to Guardians of the Galaxy. But Reese, that forehead, if you Botox, Botox it all. It looks odd to have just between your brows be smooth while everything else looks like a Shar Pei. But you were SOOO GREAT in Wild. Now, Alabama native Channing Tatum presents something about student filmmakers we've never heard of, so, moving on.

Now, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Nicole Kidman (aka best name and best divorce in Hollywood) present Best Foreign Language film to Ida from Poland, that country's first win! It's about a novice nun, orphaned during WWII, who must meet her Jewish aunt. Deep huh? Plus, the director giving the speech mentions his late wife and they stop playing him off stage. You go man!

Now the wonderful Shirley Maclaine (nice wig Shirley) introduces Boyhood (great long film about the changes that happen in families over time) The Theory of Everything (nice film about Stephen Hawking and his fight against ALS and fidelity.) and Birdman (wild and crazy and not for everyone but I loved how bizarre it was and Keaton was amazing!) Now NPH is back with some seat filler jokes ending with acting like Steve Carrell is a seat filler. How predictable. Now Marion Cotillard is here to introduce Everything Is Awesome, the wonderfully annoying  song from The Lego Movie. The performance is a hot mess, and sometimes in a good way, but sometimes not. The Lego Oscars were great.

Kerry Washington & Jason Bateman are now walking very slow and presenting short films, aka the ones y'all ain't never heard of. Some played here at Midtown Arts. The winner for live action short film was of course The Phone Call, duh, the biggest lock of the night. Documentary short was Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1, about helping vets in need of counseling. Good for them. That's an interesting wrap the one lady has. Looks like she was attacked by tribbles (you know, from Star Trek!). From Annelise to Abilene, here's Viola Davis, walking better than either of those 2 characters in heels. She's telling about the Honorary Oscar ceremony back in November. They felt these were weighing down the regular show, yeah, because it's been FLYING by since. Great to see Maureen O'Hara with an Oscar though. Now NPH is having the brilliant David Oyelowo tell insulting jokes in his British accent. Did do a great "why didn't y'all nominate him" joke though :) Bold red tux though.

Now the awful and awfully pretentious Gwyneth Paltrow comes out, attacked by some silk monster on her shoulder. But she's introducing Tim McGraw singing Glen Campbell's song about his fight with Alzheimer's "I'm Not Gonna Miss You". Such an emotionally spare song. I wish Julianne Moore had introduced this because of her movie Still Alice (more to come on that later).

OK, that's enough reading for now, more to come in a few :)