Sunday, April 1, 2012

ACM Awards - Hour 3

We are starting hour #3 off with Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw. Kenny looks tinier every time I see him. Is he manorexic? Also, be proud of being bald, our hats look dumb. Is it in their contracts that all performers tonight have to wear pants tight enough to cause blood flow problems? Taylor, don't dance in your seat, there are cameras around, bless her heart. Eh, ok song. Now, another bane of my existence, Ashton Kutcher. Ashton, no, please don't. YOU DON'T SING GEORGE STRAIT! Someone go up and punch him right now. Miranda wins female vocalist. That's good, she sings better than Taylor.

Here's Blake introducing his wife Miranda. Good song, but I don't think the dress goes with the song for some reason. I think it grew moss or something. Oh look, it's Miley's boyfriend at the ACM's introducing Zac Brown Band with Brad Paisley. This oughta be good! Brad in the Zac Brown hat is GREAT haha. He's one heck of a guitar player. Bono is on tape from Ireland introducing Dierks Bentley. I like how all the people doing introductions say "My friend so&so." Are they all friends? Are all celebrities friends? Anyway, Dierks is a very underrated singer/songwriter. This is a great patriotic song that goes beyond party lines. Good.

Oh, a wedding at the ACMs. I'm sure there is some sort of sadness. Yes, two widowed people. You will either cry or gag on the sickeningly sweet nature of it all haha. The guy from Train is now singing with Martina McBride. Why are they getting married WHILE they are singing? That's odd. I'm just glad Train guy isn't singing Hey Soul Sister. Why can't they just have Martina sing a Martina song? Now Thompson Square, duo of the year winners, nope, not Sugarland. I still say they should combine duo & group. Nice subtle product placement by Dodge in the recap of the country experience this past week.

Now Luke Bryan is performing with some green lasers that look like they were stolen from the brilliant 1985 movie Real Genius with Val Kilmer. When did country stars switch from cowboy hats to caps? Why is this guy prancing and jumping like Shania Twain? Finally, if you want the audience to sing along, be sure they are singing loud enough to be heard. It's an ok performance, nothing wrong with it. Here's Taylor to present the male vocalist award. I wish she was singer her Hunger Games song. That's a good song. Blake Shelton wins Male Vocalist so he and his wife sweep again.

Now, it's the end of the show. Entertainer of the Year is being presented by Lionel Richie. Not a country star, but has a new CD called Tuskegee (where he's from) where he sings with country stars. Plus, he recorded Deep River Woman with Alabama years ago, so he's no stranger to country. The winner is Taylor Swift. I'm giving my surprised face. Who are all those people who came up to her? It looked like she just joined a Baptist church. Now, a performance with Lionel Richie and Blake Shelton. I hope it's better than Dancing on the Ceiling which Lionel did with Rascal Flatts at the CMAs. You Are! I love this song.

Overall, not a bad show. I think it was better than the CMAs, mainly because it was on CBS :) Hope you enjoyed the blogs. I watched so you didn't have to. Good night everyone. Now I have to wait til midnight to watch Mad Men. The sacrifices I make for y'all!

ACM Awards - Hour 2

Starting off hour 2 with Jason Aldean, another husky fella. This is a good song bu he needs to take the Red Man out of his mouth or enunciate better. Vocal group is being presented by country superstars KISS. I don't get it either. Crap it's lady a :-( I'm so over them. I wanted to be anyone but them or Rascal Flatts. Next a performance from Bradley Gilbert, new artist nominee. He has leather, tats, fire, and motorcycles. Maybe he shoulda been on with KISS. I'm guessing he's a "bad boy". Now Eric Church playing a keyboard with a guitar strapped to his back. And sunglasses too, really? This song is called Springsteen, I have a feeling it won't be a good tribute to The Boss. I'm surprised more of my Frieda aren't Bruce fans. So sad. But the picture of Eric Church behind Eric Church makes him look like a redneck Che Guevara.

Now Jake Owen and LeAnn Rimes are presenting record of the year. What is LeAnn wearing? No, it's not another woman's husband. Jason and Kelly win!! I love Kelly!! She's a real sized girl with a huge voice. She's my favorite American Idol. And now to annoy me (but hopefully not) here's Lady Antebellum. Pleasant song but still too bland middle of the road. And the light haired guy needs to go up a size or two in jeans. Steve Martin with Rascal Flatts? Did he lose a bet? Poor Steve. Another poor Steve, Steve Jobs. Ashton Kutcher will play him in a movie. He gives us the iPod and iPhone and iTunes and he gets Ashton playing him? That's just a shame.

Scotty McCreary is up now. Apparently he won idol. Generic small town country song. Did they shrink him? He's tiny. As my former campus minister, the right reverend Ronnie Brewer, noted, it's good they let Alfred E. Neuman off from Mad magazine to just do that song. Glad he's done because its time for Brad Paisley! But what's with the baptist youth minister goatee? They need to turn up his microphone. This camo song is kinda fun though. New artist of the year goes to Scotty McCreary. A big win for Mad magazine!

A remembrance of the late great Earl Scruggs. Now my nemesis Gary LeVox and Rascal Flatts with my comedy hero Steve Martin. Can someone get Gary some sudafed? Steve looks annoyed. By the way I don't like them in case you couldn't figure that out. Now Toby Keith is singing Red Solo Cup. Is he drunk? Carrot Top? Really? I guess Reba isn't the only red head with plastic surgery on camera tonight. Hers is better. Haha this was goody fun for some reason lol. He's a goofball. Saw him on Chelsea Lately this week. Despite the 9/11 song, he's not a Conservative. Who knew. Ladies and gentlemen, it's SKELETOR! Oh wait, it's one of the many guys Jennifer Lopez married. He's introducing Alabama royalty, it's Mrs. Jay Barker singing the old Rod Stewart song My Heart Can't Tell You No. I've always liked her. She looks like a country Kate Beckinsale. Good job Sara and ROLL TIDE!!

Now on to hour 3!

ACM Awards - Hour 1

I'm back blogging again. Missed the oscars sadly. Let's start with Carrie Underwood singing like she needs a pole. This sounds more Pat Benatar than Patsy Cline and I don't like. Plus she sounds like she's forcing it. This is the absolute I've heard her sound. Plus her dress looks like a tacky lampshade.

Here are your hosts, Reba and Blake Shelton. That's how they said it. Is Reba like Cher now and has no last name? Ooh a Randy Travis DUI joke from Blake? Reba made a mullet joke, Blake made an old joke. Really, no plastic surgery joke? The Tebow and Taylor jokes were funny. Taylor looked like she wanted to flip Blake off. #TeamBlake. KISS is there? Why? They wear less makeup than Reba.

Chris Young is up with Save Water Drink beer. Wow he looks my size, maybe he should switch to lite beer. Generic country drinking rocking song. And now to Sugarland over at Mandalay Bay (because when I think country, I think Vegas!) Here's Zac Brown Band. But Zac, with that hat and beard you look somewhere between homeless and Zach Galifianakis. But I don't think I've heard a song from them I don't like. The Band Perry now, I like them too but it looks like the girl Perry wants to do the Angelina leg pose. And the hair on the boys Perry still reminds me of women in the early 1980s. I hate that girl Perry couldn't find her dress and had to go out in her slip. Bless her heart.

Another country superstar, LL Cool J, comes out in his trademark hat to give a shout out to the military and to introduce Keith Urban singing his song from Act of Valor. Good song and Keith's hair is perfectly feathered, as always. Half an hour into the show, the first award, song of the year presented by 2 Broke Girls Beth Behrs. I love that show :-) The winner is Crazy Girl by Eli Young Band. I'm behind on country so are they good? Just glad it wasn't lady a. Gotta love a group taking a cell phone pic from stage.

Now Blake is singing. He is doing a more low key Conway Twitty or TG Sheppard type song. Good job. Album of the year goes to Miranda Lambert. Glad it wasn't lady a :-) Now some 14 year old named Hunter Hayes who makes Bieber look old enough to buy beer. But he ain't half bad. Now Little Big Town singing Imagine (love them) acapella to start an combining it with a song from the kid, the children's choir is just a tad too much.

On to hour 2!!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Grammy Awards Hour #3

Really Grammys, you start off hour 3 with Gwyneth? Haven't I suffered enough with my back? Why do you hate me? Thankfully, I get to hear Adele now. GET OFF MY SCREEN GWYNETH! Adele looks fabulous and sounds great.  That was just amazing! See, you don't have to autotune, lip sync, slut it up, etc. You just have to write a great song and sing the heck out of it. I wanted her to go into Rumour Has It right after that, like she does on the album.

After the CMA tribute, here is a Grammy tribute to Glen Campbell. He lived a hard life (especially with Tanya Tucker), but was a heck of a country artist. The Band Perry sounds great on Gentle on My Mind. Southern Nights is PERFECT for Blake Shelton. And here is the man himself singing Rhinestone Cowboy. He sounds great and is enjoying himself. God bless him in his battle with Alzheimer's. That's right, Sir Paul McCartney was singing along to Glen Campbell and loving it. And the crazy couple next to them was dancing like the drunk couple at Logan's. And two chicks sitting there texting instead of giving Glen Campbell a well deserved standing ovation.

Oh goodie, Carrie. She's pretty, she sings well, but I just can't get into her. Now best new artist. I'm rooting for Nicki, or maybe Band Perry, but it'll be Bon Iver. It's Bon Iver. I listened to one or 2 of their songs, can't get into them.

Boring Academy president time. Academy is great and helping musicians. That's nice. But dude, the slow music isn't helping, you're losing them. But now, those who died this year. Thankfully, it seems they killed the audio in the audience, or turned it down enough you couldn't tell as much. I hate the popularity contest that ensues to see who got the loudest applause. That's sick. Here is Jennifer Hudson singing I Will Always Love You. She's good, but not Whitney, nobody is. Good low key performance, didn't oversing. Classy.

WTH, Elisabeth Shue on CSI? Well, she is a quick thinker, especially in Chicago while babysitting. However, her last stint in Las Vegas was as a prostitute with a suicidal alcoholic Nicolas Cage. Hopefully she's in better shape now.

Now a dance music tribute. But he's not a big enough or cool enough star to sing twice, plus, I wasn't feeling that performance. Foo Fighters are big enough and cool enough. Foo & Deadmau5 is actually pretty cool. He looks like Mickey's rave going cousin. Overall, I didn't like that. What the smurf was the Vegas/Bohemian Rhapsody commercial?

Ah, Nicki Minaj. I'm hoping she brings the crazy tonight. She's all about spectacle, and it looks like she brought tons tonight. Religious symbolism in performances always goes over well. I think even Lady Gaga is confused.

Now, Lady Antebellum is out here to give their award from last year to Eminem & Rihanna or Jay & Alicia. Or, they will keep it and present this year's award I guess. Oh well. The Record of the Year is ROLLIN' IN THE DEEP!!! WooHoo! It may seem boring to some, but I heart her totally & completely so get over it.

DIANA ROSS!! Just not the same without her being on the MTV Awards wondering why Lil Kim was just half dressed. And now her coronation is complete. 6 nominations, 6 wins, all deserved. I remember when I first downloaded and listened to 21. I knew it was brilliant. I listened to it on the way to Atlanta. She's finally overcome with emotion. I'm so happy for her. If you don't have this CD, please get it. It's brilliant. She just called out her snot. AWESOME!!

Now, LL's 'homie' Sir Macca is singing again. Personally, I would have rather seen Adele again. But he is a legend. But this isn't a Beatles song I know. They said this was a life changing finale, but it seems anti-climactic. But the fat guy on the drums is great. Oh, famous guitarists, they are good, but long guitar solos aren't really my thing.

OK, so that was the Grammys. We'll see if I do it for the Oscars. Remember, just because I work for a CBS station doesn't mean I have any control over Nicki Minaj's performance so don't condemn me to hell. Thanks and good night.

Grammy Awards Hour #2

Let's see how Rihanna & Coldplay do together. This is gonna be brilliant or a hot mess. I don't think I've hear RiRi sound better than in that open for We Found Love, although after the piano only open, was she lip synching a bit? And is she wearing a Shakira wig? I was a little underwhelmed by the Rihanna/Chris Martin duet section. But I do love Paradise by Coldplay, although they did it better on SNL.

I think 90% of the awards are given out in the pre-show. So, not many awards, mostly performances. The NY Giants don't seem very comfortable here. How is The Cave a rock performance though? That is something I don't get. Doesn't matter, Foo Fighters win for Walk. AWESOME!! Now some 12 year old named Seacrest is introducing the tribute to one of my all time favorite bands, THE BEACH BOYS!! Glad to hear Maroon 5 sing something that doesn't make my ears want to cry, although they are coming across like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future when he had to play at the Enchantment Under the Sea. Now, the much cooler Foster the People singing one of my fave songs Wouldn't It Be Nice. They could star in a Beach Boys movie. Now, bring out the real ones. GET OFF MY SCREEN SEACREST! 50th anniversary? After that long though, you shouldn't really call yourself boys anymore, should ya? But dang they sound good! BEACH BOYS FTW!!!

My latest tweet: Dear drinkers, don't play a drinking game where you take a shot every time Taylor Swift misses a note. You'll DIE!

STEVIE!! introducing PAUL MCCARTNEY!! I like Paul, but it's odd to hear him in the crooner role. I do like him doing it better than Rod Stewart because of the arrangement of the song. R&B album to Chris Brown. Great line from the guy in Civil Wars about everyone else being their opening act. Now, here comes Taylor singing. If they give her a Grammy after this, watch for the patented Taylor Swift Surprise Face (TM) (C). Look, she's still country, she has a banjo! Where'd she get that dress? Did she stop at an Amish Barn Sale (they wouldn't have a garage now would they?). Taylor Yoder everyone! But this is probably the least off key she's been. Good for you TayTay. My friend Ms. Stephanie Pendergrass probably loved the McDonald's commercial with the old men. She loves old people, but doesn't love TayTay.

Song of the year time now! Apparently, it takes a village to write a song, for some of these at least. ROLLING IN THE DEEP!! WooHoo!! It feels like an Adele sort of night. I love Adele, BUT SPIT OUT YOUR GUM! Poor Kate Beckinsale, apparently her dress was stolen so she had to make one out of the hotel sheet. That's resourcefulness.

Now Katy Perry, with one of my less favorite songs ET. And now a new song. And either the pain medicine for my back is really strong or Katy Perry is trying to out-Gaga Gaga. Is this song about Russell Brand?

Best country album goes to Lady Antebellum, ugh, no TayTay Surprise Face. Boring middle of the road bland songs win. Sorry, they started to get on my nerves.

Grammy Awards Hour #1

Starting off with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (RIP Clarence Clemons) is always a good thing. After all these years, he still has it. I like that he went with the understated gold hoop earrings for the Grammys. Good song "Wherever this flag's flown, we take care of our own!"

It is good to see some Grammy fashions: Fergie in something that got caught in a shredder, Gaga wearing a hair net on her face, Adele looks fantastic. Here comes host LL Cool J (in beret, as always), but somber in honor of Whitney Houston. He started off with a prayer, very kind and sweet to see so many in the audience bowing their heads in reverence. Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert are sitting next to Gaga, and TayTay is next to Cardinal Nicki Minaj. I think that is quite awesome. Now they are showing Whitney performing I Will Always Love You at the Grammys. Dang, that woman could sing and sell a song!

Starting off with one of my faves, BRUNO MARS!! I love his CD "Doo-Wops & Hooligans" I love his throwback vibe but still modern. Runaway Baby is one of my faves off the CDs. He did matching suits and choreography with his band seem ok and Vegas cool and not Jonas/NSync cheesy. He told everyone to get off their Rich, um, Butts and get up and dance. I love it. Yes, friends make fun of me for being a fan of his. Guess what, I don't care. He just did a James Brown split.

Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt pay tribute to Etta James by singing Sunday Kind of Love. Alicia is bringing it while wearing Wonder Woman's bulletproof bracelets around her neck and Bruno Mars' hair on her head. Bonnie still has that great blues voice. And best Pop Solo Performance goes to ADELE for Someone Like You, the best and saddest song of 2011. But, Adele, please spit out your gum. Now, time to go to the kitchen for my supper.

Jay & Ye win for Rap. Now, singing Don't You Wanna Stay, Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson. She blew him away (even though he did well, she's just that awesome) when they did it at the (I think) ACMs. Can he keep up? Kelly looks great, sounds a little hoarse, but still great. Looks like she's having a great time. Good for Aldean. Kelly is still my favorite Idol. A commercial just used the French song Alouette. That is the only song I can still play on piano haha


Jack Black, get funny again, but until then, go away. But, FOO FIGHTERS!! And they are playing Walk, one of my favorite songs from 2011. Heck to the YEAH! for this performance.

Well, that's hour one for ya. Let's get ready for hour 2!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

CMA Awards - Hour 3

I forgot something from hour 2. Kenny Chesney sang a duet with some lady. She was good. I think he wanted to sing it sitting down because he's shorter than her.

The first few seconds of Brad and Carrie were cut off here :-( Carrie has a great voice but I'm just not a fan. Brad is just beyond awesome though. Who is this chick with two tone hair? She annoying me. And The Band Perry takes it. Does The Girl Perry let The Boys Perry talk much at all? Who's the runty guy who looks like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?

Here is Jason Aldean, finally another cowboy hat! I think his guitar player is chewing gum. His drummer has a mohawk. This ain't my daddy's country music. Now ladies and gents, Elle Woods! Male vocalist of the year is Blake Shelton. It's his award for having to do that cover of Footloose. You should read him on twitter. He's crazy and proud of it. Now Martina McBride with her new song about someone with cancer. Powerful. I dedicate it to friends who have battled breast cancer.

Now a tribute to Glen Campbell. He's a country legend and he's battling Alzheimer's. Three of the finest voices in country music, Vince Keith and Brad are paying tribute. He's had personal demons in life but he's a heck of a vocalist. I like that the CMAs will do these tributes and put an emphasis on performances. That's country!

Faith Hill is back at the CMAs for the first time in 5 years. Man she has a lot of hair! I still would love to see Trisha Yearwood back on stage singing. Female vocalist of the year is Miranda Lambert. Hubby and wife winners again. Vocal event went to Jason Aldean and my girl Kelly Clarkson to their awesome duet Don't You Wanna Stay. Go Kelly! Now a commercial for a movie about a choir starring Queen Latifah, and, yes, Dolly Parton! It looks cheesy predictable and dumb, but c'mon, it's DOLLY! January 13th nationwide :-)

Now Reba and her two new friends present enrertainer of the year to Taylor Swift. Somewhere in Nashville, a certain Miss Pendergrass just punched a wall. But you can't hate her, it's like hating a puppy. Did Carrie rip off some curtains and put em on? Yikes!

Not a bad show. Hope y'all enjoyed the recaps!