No We'll Never Know What Might Have Been

If only I had done this. If only I had chosen that. What if I had decided this. What if I had decided that. If I avoided this. etc. etc.

Some people seem to live in the past. They live wondering what their life would have been like IF ONLY such & such hadn't happened. I admit that I have done that at times. But the key words, AT TIMES. I can't live in the past.

But why do so many people live in the past? It can't be changed. The past is done, finished. The past has passed (forgive the cliche). The past is a great learning tool. Learn where you came from, learn from your mistakes, failures, and successes. But unless you have modified a DeLorean DMC-12 into a time machine, with a plutonium-fueled nuclear reactor generating the required 1.21 gigawatts of power that propels you into time travel at 88mph thanks to the flux capacitor, then you ain't gonna change the past.

But why would you? If I look back on my life and look at the choices I made, they may not be the most exciting life, but it has it's good moments. But what if we hadn't chose the church we did back in 1989? There are a lot of people that have come through my life that I wouldn't know. May not have gone to the BCM in college. Which means I wouldn't have gone on summer missions and never would have gone to Ulysses, KS or to Savannah, GA. And if Benny Russell wasn't my church choir director, I may not have known I could sing. Then I wouldn't have led music and there goes Union Chapel for me. OK, I don't like that simulation.

What if I had stuck with one of my 2 other majors? What if I hadn't gone into television? I wouldn't have lived a dream and be involved in a television newscast (yes, that was a dream of mine. In the gifted program as an elementary schooler, I once did my own newscast). Also, a whole slew of people would remain unmet to me. I still keep up with people I worked with 10 years ago. We grew to be a tight knit group. I wouldn't have moved on to Birmingham to work, and gain experience, and work with another great group of friends. Then I wouldn't have gone back to Tuscaloosa to gain more experience, this time in radio, which then would lead to a management position back at my old job, which led to me moving to Baltimore to spread my wings and grow and learn and do even more. Me, LIKE A BOSS (with apologies to Andy Samberg & Lonely Island). Even after several years, it feels odd to say I am a boss and I have employees. But none of this would have happened if I had stayed in business (either accounting or marketing, more than likely accounting) or psychology. Yes, I was a psych major. That's why I give advice and try to fix y'all. I think it's better that I didn't become a professional in that. As an amateur advice giver, I can't be sued for malpractice, right?

Anyway, my point, and I do have one, is that all our decisions have a ripple effect in our lives. The people we've met and the experiences we've had along the way are worth it all. They make us who we are. I know that my friends and my job and experiences have made me the man I am today, well, that and ice cream (and probably a good dose of fried chicken too) have shaped me. But the ice cream has shaped me into round. Though my life is pretty low-key & unexciting most of the time, I wouldn't trade it at all.